Favorite Hot Tub Time Machine Quotes
Jacob: This is scientifically possible!
Nick: Tell us how it's scientifically possible, Professor Hawking.
Jacob: I will, 'cause I write Stargate fan fiction; this is my bread and butter, man!
Nick: Oh my God, I seriously almost passed out you're such a dork.
"All right, I write Stargate fan fiction, so I think I'm know what I'm talkin' about right now."Jacob
"That's probably Ashton Kolchak right now, tellin' us we've been 'punk'd' or whatever."Adam [after a knock on the door]
"It must be some kinda... hot tub time machine." [Looks directly into the camera]Nick
Dr. Jeff [asking Adam and Nick about Lou]: "You are his friends, right?"
Nick: "It's like that friend who's an asshole, but he's our asshole."
Adam [commenting on young Nick's haircut]: "You look like Kid 'n Play."
Nick: "That's actually two people."
Jacob: [to Lou] I have some Ativan but it's different.
Lou: Well, let's stick it up our asses!
Jacob: It's not a suppository!
Lou: It doesn't matter. You crush it up, put it in a paper towel, run it under some warm water, and you stick it right up your ass. That works!
Jacob: "Guys! This is scientifically possible."
Lou: "Oh, my god. Okay, Professor Hawking, tell me in your robot voice how this is scientifically possible."
"I don't like you takin' liberties with my dick."Nick [to Lou, regarding an oral sex bet]
"I love how much you hate you."Kelly [to Lou]
Adam: "Were you just yellin' at your nine-year-old wife?"
Lou: "Hey, man, can I ask you a question? Does this seem like it's all about Adam again?"
Nick: "Yeah--just like Cincinnati."
Adam: "You're gonna bring that up?"
Lou: "We said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinnati ever, okay?"
Jacob: "Is this why you have that shoebox in your closet that says 'Cincinnati'?"
Lou: "What?! That's f***in' admissible!"
Nick: "You keep it in the closet?!"
Adam: "What am I gonna f***in' do with it? You can't bury those things."
Nick: "You wrote 'Cincinnati' on it?!"
Adam: "How do I know which one it's supposed to be?!"
Jacob: " ... Is it a fetus?"