Popular Hot Tub Time Machine Quotes
Jacob: "Holy shit-- you're wasted!"
Adam: "I've had, like, two wine kills, Captain Buzzcooler."
Jacob: "Guys! This is scientifically possible."
Lou: "Oh, my god. Okay, Professor Hawking, tell me in your robot voice how this is scientifically possible."
Lou [shouting from a rooftop to the '80s teenagers below]: "Hey, John Lennon gets shot!...
[To himself:] Wait, did that happen yet?"
Jacob: [to Lou] I have some Ativan but it's different.
Lou: Well, let's stick it up our asses!
Jacob: It's not a suppository!
Lou: It doesn't matter. You crush it up, put it in a paper towel, run it under some warm water, and you stick it right up your ass. That works!
Adam [commenting on young Nick's haircut]: "You look like Kid 'n Play."
Nick: "That's actually two people."
Jacob [scoping out the ski resort]: " I'm gonna make a prediction right now: One of us is gonna start writing a novel, and then we all get snowed in, and then Lou's gonna axe-murder all of us."
Jacob: "For your information, I've had a lot of girlfriends. Hot ones."
Lou: "You have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones."
Adam: "If you don't like it, you can move back in with your mom."
Jacob: "No, I can't. Actually, she moved in her new boyfriend. I will not be anywhere near that."
Adam: "She moved in with him?"
Jacob: "Yeah, the taxidermist. The taxidermist is stuffing my mother."
"It must be some kinda... hot tub time machine." [Looks directly into the camera]Nick
"That's probably Ashton Kolchak right now, tellin' us we've been 'punk'd' or whatever."Adam [after a knock on the door]
"I didn't f***in' try and kill myself! If I wanted to kill myself, I'd f***in' kill myself. I'd be awesome at it. Shotgun to the dick."Lou
"You're never gonna believe where I'm callin' you from, man. I'm on a mountain, on my phone!"