Jacob: "Holy shit-- you're wasted!"
Adam: "I've had, like, two wine kills, Captain Buzzcooler."

Jacob: "Guys! This is scientifically possible."
Lou: "Oh, my god. Okay, Professor Hawking, tell me in your robot voice how this is scientifically possible."

Lou [shouting from a rooftop to the '80s teenagers below]: "Hey, John Lennon gets shot!...
[To himself:] Wait, did that happen yet?"

Jacob: [to Lou] I have some Ativan but it's different.
Lou: Well, let's stick it up our asses!
Jacob: It's not a suppository!
Lou: It doesn't matter. You crush it up, put it in a paper towel, run it under some warm water, and you stick it right up your ass. That works!

Adam [commenting on young Nick's haircut]: "You look like Kid 'n Play."
Nick: "That's actually two people."

Jacob [scoping out the ski resort]: " I'm gonna make a prediction right now: One of us is gonna start writing a novel, and then we all get snowed in, and then Lou's gonna axe-murder all of us."

Jacob: "For your information, I've had a lot of girlfriends. Hot ones."
Lou: "You have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones."

Adam: "If you don't like it, you can move back in with your mom."
Jacob: "No, I can't. Actually, she moved in her new boyfriend. I will not be anywhere near that."
Adam: "She moved in with him?"
Jacob: "Yeah, the taxidermist. The taxidermist is stuffing my mother."

"It must be some kinda... hot tub time machine." [Looks directly into the camera]


"That's probably Ashton Kolchak right now, tellin' us we've been 'punk'd' or whatever."

Adam [after a knock on the door]

"I didn't f***in' try and kill myself! If I wanted to kill myself, I'd f***in' kill myself. I'd be awesome at it. Shotgun to the dick."


"You're never gonna believe where I'm callin' you from, man. I'm on a mountain, on my phone!"

Hot Tub Time Machine stars John Cusack as one of four friends who go back time to the 80s. Rob Corddry and Craig Robinson also star in the classic comedy.

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Hot Tub Time Machine Quotes

Dr. Jeff [asking Adam and Nick about Lou]: "You are his friends, right?"
[Awkward silence]
Nick: "It's like that friend who's an asshole, but he's our asshole."

Jacob: "For your information, I've had a lot of girlfriends. Hot ones."
Lou: "You have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones."

Hot Tub Time Machine Review

When you go see a movie like Hot Tub Time Machine, you have to be willing to put certain laws of reality aside and suspend your...

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