"I seriously almost passed out, you're such a dork."

Lou

Jacob [discussing "the butterfly effect"]: "... like, you step on a bug, and the f***in' Internet's never invented."
Lou: "Oh, then you have to talk to girls with your mouth."

"I don't like you takin' liberties with my dick."

Nick [to Lou, regarding an oral sex bet]

Lou [shouting from a rooftop to the '80s teenagers below]: "Hey, John Lennon gets shot!...
[To himself:] Wait, did that happen yet?"

Lou: "Who took my f***in' shoe?!"
Jacob: "Blaine apparently beat your shoe off of you, which -- I don't even know how that could f***in' happen."

"I love how much you hate you."

Kelly [to Lou]

Adam: "Were you just yellin' at your nine-year-old wife?"
Nick: "...Yes."

Jacob: "Nobody f***s my mother in the past!"
Kelly: "I feel pregnant."
Lou: "You're welcome."

Lou: "I love you, Jacob!"
Jacob: "F*** you!"
Lou: "Little scamp. They say the damnedest things, man."

Lou: "Here's a question: Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? Perhaps. Here's another question: Do I give a f***?"

I may be off, but I think it's in reference to blowin' a dude.

Nick

Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?

Jacob

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Hot Tub Time Machine Quotes

Adam [commenting on young Nick's haircut]: "You look like Kid 'n Play."
Nick: "That's actually two people."

Dr. Jeff [asking Adam and Nick about Lou]: "You are his friends, right?"
[Awkward silence]
Nick: "It's like that friend who's an asshole, but he's our asshole."

Hot Tub Time Machine Review

When you go see a movie like Hot Tub Time Machine, you have to be willing to put certain laws of reality aside and suspend your...

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