Chuck Levine: What do you got?
Larry Valentine: Maxi Pads.
Chuck Levine: What, do we have vaginas now? Put it back!

The only thing I'm doing with my eyes is putting a bag over your head, you toothless moron!

Chuck Levine

Chuck Levine: Would you wear a yarmulke? It would make my mother proud.
Larry Valentine: I'm not wearing a yarmulke. Come on.
Chuck Levine: I'm Jewish. I don't want to piss my mother off.
Larry Valentine: Yeah? Well, I'm Catholic. I don't want to piss Mel Gibson off.

Let's go junior high on them.

Chuck Levine

Yeah, yeah! Gay love!

Kevin McDonough

Now place the ring on his hand. A ring is like a circle, it goes on forever. It's not like a triangle, triangle have three sides, it's like a circle.

Japanese Priest

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I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry Quotes

The only thing I'm doing with my eyes is putting a bag over your head, you toothless moron!

Chuck Levine

Chuck Levine: What do you got?
Larry Valentine: Maxi Pads.
Chuck Levine: What, do we have vaginas now? Put it back!