[while brushing teeth] Altogether, I've had five pints of beer and six bottles...no...six pints of beer and seven bottles, and you know what? I'm not even pissed.


Maybe that's what hell is, an entire eternity spent in Bruges.


Jimmy: She's ain’t my girlfriend. She's a prostitute.
Ken: I am not aware that there are any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places. Brothels are good.

Ray: Back off, shorty!
Jimmy: You don't know karate!

Ken: Your girlfriend's very pretty.
Jimmy: She's ain't my girlfriend. She's a prostitute I just picked up.
Ken: I was not aware that there were any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places... brothels are good.
Ken: Well, you've picked up a very pretty prostitute.
Jimmy: Thank you.

Ray: What are they doing over there? They're filming something. They're filming midgets!
Ken: Ray...
[Ray runs off and watches Jimmy being instructed by the director, who Jimmy flicks off as soon as he leaves]
Ken: Ray, come on. Let's go.
Ray: My ass let's go. They're filming midgets.

Ken: See Jimmy, my wife was black, and I loved her very much. And in 1976, she was murdered by a white man. So where the fuck am I supposed to stand in all this blood and carnage?
Jimmy: Did they get the guy that did it?
Ken: A friend of mine got him.
Ray: Harry Waters got him.

Ray: Murder, father.
Priest: Why did you murder someone, Raymond?
Ray: For money, father.
Priest: For money? You murdered someone for money?
Ray: Yes, father. Not out of anger. Not out of nothing. For money.
Priest: Who did you murder for money, Raymond?
Ray: You, father.
Priest: I'm sorry?
Ray: I said you, father. What are you, deaf?
[Ray raises pistol]
Ray: Harry Waters says hello.

Ray: I'm not being funny. We can't stay here.
Ken: We have to stay here until he rings.
Ray: Well what if he doesn't ring for two weeks?
Ken: Then we stay here for two weeks.
Ray: For two weeks? In fucking Bruges? In a room like this? With you? No way.

Maybe that's what 'ell is, an entire eternity spent in fucking Bruges.


Ray: Do you think this is good?
Ken: Do I think what's good?
Ray: You know, going around in a boat, looking at stuff?
Ken: Yes, I do. It's called sight-seeing

Harry: I'm glad he likes it there. I'm glad we were able to give him something, something good and happy. Because he wasn't such a bad kid, was he?
Ken: Huh?
Harry: He wasn't a bad kid, was he?

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In Bruges Quotes

One gay beer for my gay friend, one normal beer for me because I am normal.


[to wife] You're an inanimate fuckin' object!