Harry: Well, really, the way I see it it's all your fucking fault now isn't it? You try to rob someone with blanks in your gun and he gets the jump on you, takes your gun away and shoots the blanks in your face blinding you, so he had to get pretty close to do that. It's your own fault for being such a big gay fairy now isn't it?
Eirik: I thought you wanted to kill him.
Harry: I do. But that still doesn't mitigate the fact that you’re a fucking pansy, now, does it?

Ray: Do you think this is good?
Ken: Do I think what's good?
Ray: You know, going around in a boat, looking at stuff?
Ken: Yes, I do. It's called sight-seeing

Well, here we are in a room with two manky hookers and a racist dwarf.

Ken

[while brushing teeth] Altogether, I've had five pints of beer and six bottles...no...six pints of beer and seven bottles, and you know what? I'm not even pissed.

Ray

Ken: Ray, did we or did we not agree that if I let you go on your date tonight, you'd do the things I wanted to do today?
Ray: We are doing the things you wanted to do today.
Ken: And I would do them without you throwing a fucking moody, like a five year old who's dropped all his sweets.
Ray: We didn't agree to that.

I don't hit women. I would never hit a woman, Chloe. I'd hit a woman who was trying to hit me with a bottle. That's different. That's self-defense, isn't it? Or a woman who could do karate. I would never hit a woman generally, Chloe.

Ray

Harry: I'm glad he likes it there. I'm glad we were able to give him something, something good and happy. Because he wasn't such a bad kid, was he?
Ken: Huh?
Harry: He wasn't a bad kid, was he?

If I'd grown up on a farm and was retarded, Bruges might impress me, but I didn't, so it doesn't.

Ray

Number One, why aren't you in when I fucking told you to be in? Number Two, why doesn't this hotel have phones with fucking voicemail and not have to leave messages with the fucking receptionist? Number Three, you better fucking be in tomorrow night when I fucking call again or there'll be fucking hell to pay. I'm fucking telling you - Harry.

Harry

Jimmy: She's ain’t my girlfriend. She's a prostitute.
Ken: I am not aware that there are any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places. Brothels are good.

Ken: Harry, let's face it. You've always been a cunt. The only thing that's gonna change, is that you're gonna be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: You fuckin' retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insulting my fucking kids? That's goin' overboard man!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?

They're filming midgets!

Ray

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In Bruges Quotes

[to Yuri] An Uzi? I'm not from South Central Los fucking Angeles. I didn't come here to shoot twenty black ten year olds in a fucking drive-by. I want a normal gun for a normal person.

Harry

Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: [furious] Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?