Marie: [to Ray and Harry] Why don't you both put your guns down, and go home?
Harry: Don't be stupid. This is the shootout.

Ken: See Jimmy, my wife was black, and I loved her very much. And in 1976, she was murdered by a white man. So where the fuck am I supposed to stand in all this blood and carnage?
Jimmy: Did they get the guy that did it?
Ken: A friend of mine got him.
Ray: Harry Waters got him.

Harry: Well, really, the way I see it it's all your fucking fault now isn't it? You try to rob someone with blanks in your gun and he gets the jump on you, takes your gun away and shoots the blanks in your face blinding you, so he had to get pretty close to do that. It's your own fault for being such a big gay fairy now isn't it?
Eirik: I thought you wanted to kill him.
Harry: I do. But that still doesn't mitigate the fact that you’re a fucking pansy, now, does it?

Ray: Do you think this is good?
Ken: Do I think what's good?
Ray: You know, going around in a boat, looking at stuff?
Ken: Yes, I do. It's called sight-seeing

Well, here we are in a room with two manky hookers and a racist dwarf.


[while brushing teeth] Altogether, I've had five pints of beer and six pints of beer and seven bottles, and you know what? I'm not even pissed.


Ken: Ray, did we or did we not agree that if I let you go on your date tonight, you'd do the things I wanted to do today?
Ray: We are doing the things you wanted to do today.
Ken: And I would do them without you throwing a fucking moody, like a five year old who's dropped all his sweets.
Ray: We didn't agree to that.

Harry: I'm glad he likes it there. I'm glad we were able to give him something, something good and happy. Because he wasn't such a bad kid, was he?
Ken: Huh?
Harry: He wasn't a bad kid, was he?

One gay beer for my gay friend, one normal beer for me because I am normal.


Jimmy: She's ain’t my girlfriend. She's a prostitute.
Ken: I am not aware that there are any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places. Brothels are good.

Ken: Harry, let's face it. You've always been a cunt. The only thing that's gonna change, is that you're gonna be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: You fuckin' retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insulting my fucking kids? That's goin' overboard man!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?

They're filming midgets!


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In Bruges Quotes

One gay beer for my gay friend, one normal beer for me because I am normal.


[to wife] You're an inanimate fuckin' object!