Timing is everything in life.

Morty

Carter Duryea: Wow, you really believe in this stuff, huh?
Dan Foreman: Of course. Why else would I do it?

[picking up another phone] Hello, this is Mr. Foreman. If you give my daughter an alcoholic beverage or a joint, I will hunt you down and neuter you.

Dan Foreman

[about to be kissed] Uh, I heard this rumor... alcohol impairs your judgment.

Carter Duryea

Carter Duryea:I'm psyched! You - I don't know your name yet! What's your name?
Hector: I'm Hector... I just work maintenance.
Carter Duryea: Well, Hector, are you psyched?
Hector: I'm psyched!
Carter Duryea: Well, if Hector's psyched, then, I know I'm psyched!

Mark Steckle: ...You're being groomed...
Carter Duryea: I'm being groomed! Mark, thank you, thank you. I'm going to kick so much ass for you, I'm going to take no prisoners, I'm going to be your ninja assassin!

I gotta get home for dinner. My wife is slowly poisoning me to death and she gets very angry if I'm late.

Morty

Dan Foreman: Guys, I feel very terrible about what I'm about to say. But I'm afraid your both being let go.
Lou: Let go? What does that mean?
Dan Foreman: It means you're being fired, Louey.

[after learning he's been fired] Dan what the hell am I gonna tell my wife? I mean she already wears the pants, now she's gonna wear the tie and jacket too.

Morty

Carter Duryea: [Alex dims the lights, turns on soft music, and lights incense] Well, it looks like everything is perfect.
Alex Foreman: So why are you still talking?

Dan Foreman: How are you?
Morty: Not so good, not so good. I mean psychologically.
Dan Foreman: I'm sorry.
Morty: That's okay. Anyway my wife got a promotion. I'm hoping she'll raise my allowance.

After months of speculation, analysts expect an announcement this week that GlobeCom International will acquire Waterman Publishing and its flagship magazine, Sports America. The man at the helm of GlobeCom, billionaire media magnate Teddy K., has been on a spending spree recently, acquiring a food service company, a cable operator, and two telecommunications providers in deals totaling more than $13 billion. And how did one lucky ferret owner come to own the largest dog treat manufacturer on the East Coast?

Anchorwoman

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In Good Company Quotes

Timing is everything in life.

Morty

After months of speculation, analysts expect an announcement this week that GlobeCom International will acquire Waterman Publishing and its flagship magazine, Sports America. The man at the helm of GlobeCom, billionaire media magnate Teddy K., has been on a spending spree recently, acquiring a food service company, a cable operator, and two telecommunications providers in deals totaling more than $13 billion. And how did one lucky ferret owner come to own the largest dog treat manufacturer on the East Coast?

Anchorwoman