Ellen Brody: Wanna get drunk and fool around?
Brody: Oh yeah.
Brody: Yeah, but I'm not drunk enough to go out on a boat.
Hooper: Yes, you are.
Brody: No, I'm not.
Hooper: Yes, you are.
Brody: I can't do that.
Hooper: Yes, you can.
Brody: [Drunk] I'm tellin' ya, the crime rate in New York'll kill you. There's so many problems, you never feel like you're accomplishing anything. Violence, rip-offs, muggings... kids can't leave the house - you gotta walk them to school. But in Amity one man can make a difference. In twenty-five years, there's never been a shooting or a murder in this town.
Hooper: Fascinating. Want a pretzel?
Brody: Where are we?
[On radio] Your husband's all right, Mrs. Brody. He's fishing. He's just caught a couple of stripers. We'll bring 'em in for dinner. We won't be long, we haven't seen anything yet. Over and out.Quint
Mayor Vaughn: I'm only trying to say that Amity is a summer town. We need summer dollars. Now, if the people can't swim here, they'll be glad to swim at the beaches of Cape Cod, the Hamptons, Long Island...
Brody: That doesn't mean we have to serve them up as smorgasbord!
Brody: Take this stuff back to the office and get to work on those signs. "Beaches Closed. No Swimming. By the Order of the Amity PD." And let Polly do the printing.
Hendricks: What's the matter with my printing?
Brody: Let Polly do the printing.
Hooper: Dammit, Martin! This is compressed air!
Brody: Well, what the hell kind of a knot was that?
Hooper: You pulled the wrong one. You screw around with these tanks, and they're gonna blow up!
Quint: Yeah, that's real fine expensive gear you brought out here, Mr. Hooper. 'Course I don't know what that bastard shark's gonna do with it, might eat it I suppose. Seen one eat a rockin' chair one time. Hey chieffy, next time you just ask me which line to pull, right?
[Poking fun at Brody] Ah, the missus, Chief. If they don't like you going out, they'll love you comin' in.Quint
Brody: What are you doing out there? These are your people - go and talk to them.
Hendricks: Those aren't my people. They're from all over the place. Did you see all the license plates out in the parking lot? Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Jersey... I'm all by myself out there.
Hooper: Ah. Just like I thought... He came up with the Gulf Stream - from southern waters.
[pulls a Louisiana license plate from the shark]
Brody: He didn't eat a car, did he?
Hooper: Naw, a tiger shark's like a garbage can, it'll eat anything. Someone probably threw that in a river.
Mayor Vaughn: Any special questions?
Denherder: Uh, is that $3000 bounty on the shark in cash or check?
Mrs. Taft: I don't think that's funny. I don't think that's funny at all, I'm sorry.
Hooper ya idiot. Starboard. Ain't you watchin' it?Quint