On the surface, everything seems fine. I've got this great guy. And he loves my kid. And he sure does like me a lot. And I can't live like that. It's not the way I'm built.

Dorothy

Look at me Laurel, I'm the oldest 26 year old in the world.

Dorothy

Don't cry at the beginning of a date. Cry at the end, like I do.

Laurel

Jerry Maguire: What are you doing with me, Rod?
Rod Tidwell: Why?
Jerry Maguire: I'm finished, I'm fucked. Twenty four hours ago, man, I was hot! Now... I'm a cautionary tale. You see this jacket I'm wearing, you like it? Because I don't really need it. Because I'm cloaked in failure! I lost the number one draft picked the night before the draft! Why? Let's recap: Because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk. I ate two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a conscience!
Rod Tidwell: Well, boo-f-cking-hoo
Laurel

Rod Tidwell: Thanks for coming.
Jerry Maguire: I missed ya. What can I say? You're all I've got.

Jerry Maguire: I started talking to Dennis Wilburn about your re-negotiation this morning.
Rod Tidwell: Talking. Jerry Rice, Andre Reed, Chris Carter... I smell all these fools. They are making the big sweet dollars. They are making the... quan, and you are talking.

I don't like black people? I am Mister black people.

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Jerry Maguire Quotes

Don't ever stop fucking me!

Avery Bishop

You are hanging on by a very thin thread and I dig that about you!

Rod Tidwell