I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens. I'll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.

Laurel: You fuck this up, I'll kill you!
Jerry Maguire: I'm glad we had this talk.

You are hanging on by a very thin thread and I dig that about you!

Rod Tidwell

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Yeah! Louder!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: I need to feel you Jerry!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money! Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: I love black people.
Jerry Maguire: I love black people!
Rod Tidwell: Who's your motherfucker, Jerry?
Jerry Maguire: You're my mother fucker! Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Uh! Congratulations, you're still my agent.

Jerry Maguire: How's your head?
Rod Tidwell: Bubblicious.

If you ever want me to be with another woman for you, I'd do it. It's not something I'm interested in. Once, yeah, it seemed normal, but it was just a phase, a college thing, like torn Levi's or law school for you. Would you like something from the kitchen? I'm gonna get some fruit.

Avery Bishop

Ray: D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?
Ray: D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?
Ray: D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
Jerry Maguire: I... I can't compete with that!

There is a sensitivity thing that some people have. I don't have it. I don't cry at movies, I don't gush over babies, I don't buy Christmas presents 5 months early, and I DON'T tell the guy who just ruined both our lives, "Oh, poor baby." But I do love you.

Avery Bishop

I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.

Dorothy

Dorothy: He's coming over.
Laurel: Tonight?
Dorothy: He just lost his best client. I invited the guy over.
Laurel: Dorothy, this is not a guy. It's a syndrome. Early mid-life. Hanging on to the bottom wrong. "Dear God, don't let me be alone or I call my newly long suffering assistent without medical for company settlement." If now all you still want is him to come over, I'm not saying anything.
Dorothy: Honey, he's engaged.

Rod Tidwell: Who's your motherfucker?
Jerry Maguire: You're my motherfucker!

I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.

Dorothy

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Jerry Maguire Quotes

We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You... complete me.

Jerry Maguire

I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.

Dorothy