Jersey Girl Quotes
Gertie: Thank you, daddy.
Ollie: Anything for you, Gert. You know why?
Gertie: Why?
Ollie: 'Cause you're the only thing I was ever really good at.
Convincing a town to approve something that's already in their best interest, that's just delayed common sense!
Ollie
Bart: You know, you really had me scared for a moment there.
Ollie: Aww, who knew. All these years you were nursing a little stage fright!
Bart: Not that smart ass.
Gertie: Did mommy like New York?
Ollie: Yeah, she loved it.
Gertie: Then I guess I will too.
Ollie: No, that's okay, I'll stay here and do the dishes. I only cooked, why shouldn't I clean?
Bart: Suit yourself. Don't wash that pan, I got a nice layer of juice built up for the pork roll, and I don't want you scrubbing it off.
Ollie: That juice is called grease, dad. It's bad for you. It clogs your arteries.
Bart: It's called juice. And it greases your father's insides so he can better swallow the shit his son feeds him twice a year, when he can be bothered to come to visit him.
My mom and dad are very religious. At night I hear them scream, Jesus!
Isn't that cute? It's 8 o'clock and you both get a bottle.
Ollie
Will Smith: What's your daughter's name?
Ollie: Gertrude.
Will Smith: Damn why'd you do that man?
Will Smith: 'Ey, you Brickman?
Ollie: No. I'm just a guy who'd rather play in the dirt with his kid.
My Mum says my Dad has brown eyes because he is full of shit.
Boy
Bart: If Gertie could see the shit you've been pulling.
Ollie: Gertie can't see anything, Dad. She's dead.
Bart: That's right, she is. But you aint. And neither is that kid.
Man cannot live on porn alone.
Maya
