Gertie: Thank you, daddy.
Ollie: Anything for you, Gert. You know why?
Gertie: Why?
Ollie: 'Cause you're the only thing I was ever really good at.

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Jersey Girl Quotes

Gertie: I hate you! I hate you! I wish you died, not Mommy!
Ollie: I hate you right back you little shit! You and your mom took my life away from me. I just want it back!

Teacher: Everyone, please take your seats. You heard the bell. You know what it means. Last week, the assignment was to write an essay about your family. Who they...
Teacher: [class: "Are!"] And what they...
Teacher: [class: "Mean to us!"] Excellent droning.