Juno MacGuff: I think I'm, like, in love with you.
Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?
Juno MacGuff: No, I mean, like, for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.

You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.

Juno MacGuff

Paulie Bleeker: I still have your underwear.
Juno MacGuff: I still have your virginity.
Paulie Bleeker: Shut up.

Can we make out now?

Paulie Bleeker

Leah: Woah check out baby big head. That thing is freaky looking.
Juno MacGuff: Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell.

Vanessa Loring: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno MacGuff: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

Vanessa Loring: How do I look?
Bren: Like a new mom. Scared shitless.

That ain't no etch-a-sketch. That's one doodle that can't be un-did, homeskillet.

Rollo

Juno MacGuff: [yelling through the house] Uh, dad?
Mac MacGuff: Yeah?
Juno MacGuff: Either I just wet my pants... or...
Mac MacGuff: "Or"...?
Juno MacGuff: Or... THUNDERCATS ARE GO!

If I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks, probably like a sea monkey right now, and I should let it get a little cuter.

Juno MacGuff

Mac MacGuff: Who's the father?
Juno MacGuff: It's... it's Paulie Bleeker
[everyone stares]
Juno MacGuff: ... What?
Mac MacGuff: I didn't think he had it in him.
Leah: I know, right?

Mac MacGuff: And this, of course, is Juno.
Mark Loring: Juno, like the city in Alaska?
Juno MacGuff: No.
Mark Loring: Oh okay...

FREE Movie Newsletter

Juno Quotes

That ain't no etch-a-sketch. That's one doodle that can't be un-did, homeskillet.

Rollo

Juno MacGuff: I think I'm, like, in love with you.
Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?
Juno MacGuff: No, I mean, like, for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.