Father Brian Finn: I keep thinking about what you said in seminary, that the life of a priest is hard and if you can see yourself being happy doing anything else you should do that.
Father Havel: That was my recruitment pitch, which is not bad when you're starting out because it makes you feel like a marine. The truth is you can never tell yourself there is only one thing you could be. If you are a priest or if you marry a woman it's the same challenge. You cannot make a real commitment unless you accept that it's a choice that you keep making again and again and again.

Anna Riley: What's happening with Ruth and Ethan?
Father Brian Finn: Oh. Ethan married a Catholic girl and that did not go over well.
Anna Riley: That's why they're fighting?
Father Brian Finn: They're not fighting, they're not talking. Two years now no communicado.
Anna Riley: Are you serious?
Father Brian Finn: Yeah.
Anna Riley: What? Weren't they really close though?
Father Brian Finn: As close as Ruth and Jake.
Anna Riley: That explains a lot.
Father Brian Finn: You see why tonight was not just a date.

Rabbi Jake Schram: What's the story of Sodom and Gomorrah really about? Anyone? Steve Posner.
Steve Posner: Sexual perversion.
Rabbi Jake Schram: Sexual perversion. Steve Posner's watching too much Spice Channel!

Rabbi Jake Schram: What happened to our youth?
Father Brian Finn: I'm telling you, it ended at 30, pal.

Rabbi Jake Schram: Jews want their rabbis to be the kind of Jews they don't have the time to be.
Father Brian Finn: Yeah, and Catholics want their priests to be the kind of Catholics they don't have the discipline to be.

Father Brian Finn: You're a Sikh, Catholic Muslim with Jewish in-laws?
Indian Bartender: Yes. Yes. It gets very complicated. I'm reading Dianetics.
Father Brian Finn: Don't blame you.

The seven deadly sins. Who can name the seven deadly sins? People! It was a very popular film with Brad Pitt, you have the ultimate cliff note.

Father Brian Finn

Alan Klien: I suck! They're gonna take away my Yamulkha!
Rabbi Jake Schram: No you don't. You don't suck.
Alan Klien: I suck.
Rabbi Jake Schram: Yes, all right, you do. You suck. But that's ok, you're supposed to suck. This isn't a talent contest, it's a rite of passage.

Whoa! Listen to what you're saying. You're telling me that I was supposed to be sensitive to the possibility that a Catholic priest might have a crush on my secret girlfriend?

Rabbi Jake Schram

Rachel Rose: You write all your own sermons, right?
Rabbi Jake Schram: Actually I download them off the net, there's this great site www.hotgod.com.
Rachel Rose: Really?
[Anna kicks him under the table]
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ooh hoo, no.

Anna Riley: I read your sarin gas report. It was very powerful.
Rachel Rose: Thanks, I really earned my stripes with that piece.
Rabbi Jake Schram: I earned my stripes by getting through a bris without fainting.

People should have to qualify to go out with you. You're too precious to be on the open market.

Anna Riley

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Keeping the Faith Quotes

Rachel Rose: [to Brian and Anna] So how long have you two been together?
Father Brian Finn: Oh, right!
Anna Riley: Oh, we go way back.
Father Brian Finn: Yeah, we've known each other since we were kids 'cause we grew up together and we connected again a couple months back this was and we just clicked, really unexpectedly.

You don't understand. I have a relationship with my phone, we have a chemistry together, I can't explain it.

Anna Riley