Who is your daddy and what does he do?

Detective John Kimble

As Phoebe O'Hara comes in front of the kindergartners to tell them about "strangers" Kimble looks her in the eyes and says "Show no fear!"... a reversal of her prior warning to him.

Detective John Kimble

Not so tough without your car, are yeah?


[Being interrogated by Pheobe and looking right at the special glass] Yeah, I know you're in there and I know want you want, but you ain't getting it, no leads, no testimony. You can take your cuffs and shove'em up your ass.


He's a caca-poopoo


You should be reading stories about bears that go shopping!

Detective John Kimble

Kimble, you've wasted years chasing after me, and what has it got you? Huh? Nothing! I'll be out of here in a week, and you'll still be eating takeout food in that dump you live in. Yeah! I know all about you, Kimble. Without me, you wouldn't even have a life. My old lady left because of the money. Yours left because she just couldn't stand the sight of you.

Cullen Crisp

I'm a cop you idiot! I'm detective John Kimble!

Detective John Kimble

Freeze! Don't you know the building is on fire?

Detective John Kimble

[during Who is Your Daddy game] My daddy works on a computer all day, and is the head of his company and he, um, he has a moustache and a beard, and he-he doesn't have a lot of hair, and cuz-um, since his head is so big, he can't wear any hats.


Joshua: Are you married, Mr. Kimble? Detective
John Kimble: No, I'm not.
Joshua: [shouts] He's not married, Mom!


Detective John Kimble

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Kindergarten Cop Quotes

Joseph: [to Phoebe] Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina.
Phoebe: [to Kimble] Well, I see you've covered the basics.

You know, kindergarten is like the ocean. You don't want to turn your back on it.