Pete: I'm gonna throw you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88.
Ben Stone: Vrrooooom!

Pete: You mean like Mr. Skin?
Ben Stone: Who's Mr. Skin?
Pete: You know, Mr. Skin.

Alison Scott: Why don't you go fuck your fucking Bong?
Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too!

Debbie: I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox.
Jason: I had the chicken pox three times. I have no immunity to it.
Ben Stone: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.

[to Ben and Pete at dinner] Hey, I have a really good idea. Why don't the two of you get into your time machine, go back in time and fuck each other.


[to Alison] Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out?


Well, I'm gonna go make a protein shake.


Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: Fuck off!
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: What?

[during earthquake] FUCK ME!

Ben Stone

Martin: I think he's using the dice move a bit too much.
Jay: I think that's pretty much all he's got.

Now that's how you get pink eye.

Ben Stone

Fuck you hormones!

Ben Stone

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Knocked Up Quotes

You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gabe Ruth.


Jay: Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit!
Jonah: What the fuck, man? If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna fuckin' loose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a fuckin' stuffed animal!