Elle: Don't ask.
Emmett: Wasn't gonna.

Brooke: You know a Delta Nu would never sleep with a man who wears a thong.
Elle: Never!
Brooke: I just liked to watch him change the filter.

Elle's Mother: Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the "Miss Hawaiian Tropic" contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?
Elle: Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.
Elle's Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.

The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

Elle

So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass.

Paulette

Professor Callahan: Do you think she woke up one morning and said: I think I'll go to law school today.

There's nothing I love better than a dumb blonde with Daddy's plastic.

Boutique Saleswoman

Elle: For that matter, any masturbatory emissions, where the sperm is clearly not seeking an egg, could be termed reckless abandonment.
Professor Callahan: You've just won your case.

Warner Huntington III: You got into Harvard Law?
Elle: What? Like, it's hard?

Warner Huntington III: Hey well don't you look like a walking felony.
Elle: Thanks, you're so sweet.

Elle: This is what I need to become.
Old Lady at Manicurist: What? Practically deformed?
Elle: No, a law student.

Elle: Excuse me. [slaps David] Why didn't you call me? We spent a beautiful night together and I haven't heard from you since.
David: I'm sorry?
Elle: Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and just taking it away?
David: Both?
Elle: Well, forget it. I've spent too much time crying over you. [leaves]
Girl: [to David] So, when did you wanna go out?

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Legally Blonde Quotes

Enrique Salvatore: Don't stomp your little last season Prada shoes at me, honey.
Elle: These aren't last season!
[looks down, gasps, runs back to court]
Elle: He's gay! Enrique is gay!

Elle: I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life.
[some dude whistles at her]
Elle: I object!

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