Paulette: Is she as pretty as you?
Elle: She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she's not completely... unfortunate looking.

Elle: Don't ask.
Emmett: Wasn't gonna.

So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass.

Paulette

Brooke: You know a Delta Nu would never sleep with a man who wears a thong.
Elle: Never!
Brooke: I just liked to watch him change the filter.

Professor Callahan: Do you think she woke up one morning and said: I think I'll go to law school today.

The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

Elle

There's nothing I love better than a dumb blonde with Daddy's plastic.

Boutique Saleswoman

Elle: For that matter, any masturbatory emissions, where the sperm is clearly not seeking an egg, could be termed reckless abandonment.
Professor Callahan: You've just won your case.

Margot: Here, you're gonna need this.
Elle: Your scrunchie?
Margot: My LUCKY scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
Serena: You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap dance after the final.
Margot: Yeah... Luckily!

So what's this Vivian got that you don't have? Three tits?

Paulette

Elle: It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin... to generic. All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye."
Entire Sorority Group: Aye!

Elle: Excuse me. [slaps David] Why didn't you call me? We spent a beautiful night together and I haven't heard from you since.
David: I'm sorry?
Elle: Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and just taking it away?
David: Both?
Elle: Well, forget it. I've spent too much time crying over you. [leaves]
Girl: [to David] So, when did you wanna go out?

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Legally Blonde Quotes

Enrique Salvatore: Don't stomp your little last season Prada shoes at me, honey.
Elle: These aren't last season!
[looks down, gasps, runs back to court]
Elle: He's gay! Enrique is gay!

So what's this Vivian got that you don't have? Three tits?

Paulette

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