Elle: I promised her, and I can't break the bonds of sisterhood.
Professor Callahan: Screw sisterhood! This is a murder investigation! Not some scandal at the sorority house!

Geez! Could I be any more goddamn spastic?

Paulette

Elle: For that matter, any masturbatory emissions could be termed reckless abandonment.
Professor Callahan: You've just won your case.

Brooke: Are you one of my lawyers?
Elle: Sort of.
Brooke: Well thank God one of you has a brain.

I would rather go to jail than lose my reputation.

Brooke

But if I'm going to have my own law firm by the time I'm 30, I need a boyfriend who's not such a complete bonehead.

Elle

Elle's Mother: Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the "Miss Hawaiian Tropics" contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?
Elle: Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.
Elle's Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.

Elle: Here it is!
Professor Callahan: It’s pink...
Elle: Oh! And it's scented! I think it gives it a little something extra, don't you think? Ok, well, see you next class!

And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.

Elle

Serena: Oh, look, there's Elle!
Serena: Elle, we came to see your trial and look! There's like a judge and everything... and jury people.
Margot: VOTE FOR ELLE!
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: Ladies, take a seat!

The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

Elle

I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.

Elle

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Legally Blonde Quotes

If you're going to let one stupid prick ruin your life... you're not the girl I thought you were.

Professor Stromwell

Isn't it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you are forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thioglycolate?

Elle

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