I would rather go to jail than lose my reputation.

Brooke

Brooke: I was getting... lipo.
Elle: What?
Brooke: LIPOSUCTION!

But if I'm going to have my own law firm by the time I'm 30, I need a boyfriend who's not such a complete bonehead.

Elle

I'm takin' the dog... dumbass!

Paulette

Elle's Mother: Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the "Miss Hawaiian Tropics" contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?
Elle: Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.
Elle's Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.

Elle: Here it is!
Professor Callahan: It’s pink...
Elle: Oh! And it's scented! I think it gives it a little something extra, don't you think? Ok, well, see you next class!

Elle: For that matter, any masturbatory emissions, where the sperm is clearly not seeking an egg, could be termed reckless abandonment.
Professor Callahan: You've just won your case.

And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.

Elle

Serena: Oh, look, there's Elle!
Serena: Elle, we came to see your trial and look! There's like a judge and everything... and jury people.
Margot: VOTE FOR ELLE!
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: Ladies, take a seat!

The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

Elle

I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.

Elle

Vivian: Nice outfit.
Elle: Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

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Legally Blonde Quotes

Warner Huntington III: You got into Harvard Law?
Elle: What? Like, it's hard?

If I want to be a Senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.

Warner Huntington III

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