So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass.

Paulette

Elle: You're beaking up with me because I'm too... blonde?
Warner Huntington III: Well, no. That's not entirely true...
Elle: Then what? My boobs are too big?

Because I'm not a Vanderbilt, suddenly I'm white trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner. Across the street from Aaron Spelling. I think most people would agree that's a lot better than some stinky old Vanderbilt.

Elle

Paulette: Is she as pretty as you?
Elle: She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she's not completely... unfortunate looking.

Warner Huntington III: You got into Harvard Law?
Elle: What? Like, it's hard?

Professor Callahan: Do you think she woke up one morning and said: I think I'll go to law school today.

Warner Huntington III: Pooh bear, just get in the car.
Elle: No.
Warner Huntington III: You're gonna ruin your shoes.
Elle: Okay.

Elle: Oh Warner, do you remember when we spent those four amazing hours in the hot tub together after winter formal?
Warner Huntington III: Uhh, ye... no
Elle: Well this is so much better than that. Excuse me, I have some shopping to do.

Uh. I'm sorry. I just hallucinated.

Elle

Elle: Excuse me. [slaps David] Why didn't you call me? We spent a beautiful night together and I haven't heard from you since.
David: I'm sorry?
Elle: Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and just taking it away?
David: Both?
Elle: Well, forget it. I've spent too much time crying over you. [leaves]
Girl: [to David] So, when did you wanna go out?

Emmett: I can't believe you just called me a butthead. I don't think anybody has called me a butthead since the 9th grade.
Elle: Maybe not to your face.

Elle: I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life.
[some dude whistles at her]
Elle: I object!

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Legally Blonde Quotes

Enrique Salvatore: Don't stomp your little last season Prada shoes at me, honey.
Elle: These aren't last season!
[looks down, gasps, runs back to court]
Elle: He's gay! Enrique is gay!

So what's this Vivian got that you don't have? Three tits?

Paulette

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