Olive: Do you think there's a Heaven?
Frank: Well, it's hard to say, Olive. I don't think anyone knows for sure.
Olive: I know, but what do you think?
Frank: Well... um... uh...
Olive: I think there is.
Frank: Think I'll get in?
Olive: Yeah.
Frank: Promise?
Olive: Yeah.

Pageant Assistant: Are you authorized to be backstage?
Dwayne: [without stopping] No.

[written on piece of paper showing it to Frank] Welcome to hell.


Sweet sweetness!


Grandpa: So are you gettin' any?
Dwayne: [shakes his head no]
Grandpa: Christ! What are you? 15? You gotta be gettin' that young stuff!

Olive: Why were you unhappy?
Frank: I fell in love with someone...
Grandpa [blows nose loudly]
Frank: ... who didn't love me back.
Olive: Who?
Frank: One of my grad students. I was very much in love with him.
Olive: Him? You fell in love with a boy?
Frank: Very much so.
Olive: That's silly.
Grandpa: There's another word for it...

I can say what I want - I still got Nazi bullets in my ass.


Oh my God, I'm getting pulled over. Everyone, just... pretend to be normal.


Sheryl: [after Frank's suicide attempt] I'm so glad you're still here.
Frank: Well, that makes one of us.

Life is one fuckin' beauty contest after another.


Listen to me. I got no reason to lie to you. Don't make the same mistakes I made when I was young. Fuck a lotta women, kid. Not just one woman, a lotta women.


[after finding out he is color blind and can't fly jets] FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!


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Little Miss Sunshine Quotes

What in the world?

Pageant Official Jenkins

Olive: Grandpa, am I pretty?
Grandpa: You are the most beautiful girl in the world.
Olive: You're just saying that.
Grandpa: No! I'm madly in love with you and it's not because of your brains or your personality.