We grow copious amounts of ganja here, and you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. You don't look like your average horti-fucking-culturalist.

Winston

Gary: Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shot?
Barry the Baptist: Oh, you must be the brains of the operation. Yes, guns that fire shot.

If you don't want to be counting the fingers you haven't got, I suggest you get those guns. Quick!

Barry the Baptist

A minute ago this was the safest job in the world. Now it's turning into a bad day in Bosnia.

Soap

I don't want to know who you use, as long as they're not complete muppets.

"Hatchet" Harry

It's been emotional.

Big Chris

There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses.

Tom

Tom: Look, it's all completely chicken soup.
Nick the Greek: It's what?
Tom: It's kosher. As Christmas.
Nick the Greek: The Jews don't celebrate Christmas, Tom.

Nick the Greek: Just get me a sample.
Tom: No can do.
Nick the Greek: What's that? Some place near Katmandu? Meet me halfway, mate.

If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kinda pussy to drink it.

Rory Breaker

Eddie: They're armed.
Soap: What was that? Armed? What do you mean armed? Armed with what?
Eddie: Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!

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Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels Quotes

If you don't want to be counting the fingers you haven't got, I suggest you get those guns. Quick!

Barry the Baptist

It's been emotional.

Big Chris