The President: We love that old thing.
Harry: What is this we're listening to?
Karen: Joni Mitchell.
Harry: I can't believe you still listen to Joni Mitchell.
Karen: I love her. And true love lasts a lifetime. Joni Mitchell is the woman who taught your cold English wife how to feel.
Harry: Did she? Oh well that's good. I must write to her some time and say thanks.

I look quite pretty.


Harry: Right, the Christmas party. Not my favourite night of the year and your unhappy job to organise.
Mia: So tell me.
Harry: Pretty basic really. Find a venue, overorder on the drinks, bulk buy the guacamole and advise the girls to avoid Kevin if they want their breasts unfondled.

I just want a glimpse of me in a wedding dress that isn't bright turquoise.


John: I might get a shag at last.
Judy: Naughty.

But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end.


Tell her that you love her. You've got nothing to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't.


I'm on Shag Highway heading West.


[on sheets of poster board]
Mark: [on sheets of poster board] With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls.
[shows pictures of beautiful supermodels]
Mark: But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this
[picture of a mummy]
Mark: Merry Christmas

Parky: This must be a very exciting moment for you, fighting for the Christmas number one. How's it looking so far?
Billy Mack: Very bad indeed. Blue are outselling me five to one. But I'm hoping for a late surge. And if I reach number one, I promise to sing the song stark naked on TV on Christmas Eve.
Parky: Do you mean that?
Billy Mack: Well of course I mean it, Michael. Do you want a preview? You old flirt.
[stands in front of Parky and flashes at him]
Parky: *That'll* never make number one!

Grande, er... grande familio, grande tradizione de Christmas presents. Stupido.


Jamie: I'm so late.
Jamie's Girlfriend: It's just round the corner, you'll make it.
Jamie: Are you sure you don't mind me going without you?
Jamie's Girlfriend: No, I'm just feeling so rotten.
Jamie: I love you.
Jamie's Girlfriend: I know.
Jamie: I love you even when you're sick and look disgusting.
Jamie's Girlfriend: I know. Now go or you will actually miss it.
Jamie: Right. Did I tell you I love you?
Jamie's Girlfriend: Yes you did, get out, loser!

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Love Actually Quotes

Let's get pissed and watch porn

Billy Mack

Hurry up big boy, I'm naked and I want you at least twice before Jamie gets home.

Jamie's Girlfriend