Earl Partridge: Phil. Phil. Hey, come here. Come here. Uh... Phil. I'm... I'm gonna try... talk. I'm gonna try to say something-something. Do you know Lily, Phil? Do you know her? Lily?
Phil Parma: No, I don't.
Earl Partridge: Oh, she's my love, my life, love of it. Y'know. In school... I'm twelve years old, in school, in sixth grade. I saw her. I didn't go to that school, but... uh... we met. My friend knew her. I said, uh...”What's that girl? How's that Lily?" "Oh, she's bad. She sleeps with guys." Yeah, he said this, but then sometimes... I went to another school, you see. But then... when high school - at an end. What is that when it gets to the end?
Phil Parma: Graduation.
Earl Partridge: No, no, the grade. What grade are you in?
Phil Parma: That's 12th.
Earl Partridge: Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

"Now I'm going to have our three whistlers... uh... please to present the next... um, the... um... musical... there were three... musical sections here, and this'll be the third... the third section... um... and they'll play a piece... it's very recognizable, it's... Chopin, actually... it's taken... it's, it's in the style of "March Militaire", which is a very... recognizable piece, so... if you please, just... listen to this, and I'm sure you can identify the... um, I'm sort of giving away the answer here, but that's... it's... Chopin... I don't mean to give away the answer... it's... please, just... you know... sing us a ditty, guys... a Chopin ditty."

Jimmy Gator

Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: I'm sick.
Thurston Howell: Stay that way.

I used to be smart, but now I'm just stupid.

Quiz Kid Donnie Smith

[speaking at his seminar] Men are shit. What? Men... are... shit. What, isn't that what they say? Because we do bad things, don't we? We do horrible, heineous, heinous, terrible things. Things that no woman would ever do. No, women, they don't lie. No, women don't cheat. Women don't manipulate us. But you see what I'm getting at. You see what society does? Little boys, it's, "Wow, womaaaan!" We are taught to apologize. I am sorry. I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry. What is it that we need? Is it their pussies? Their love? Mommy wouldn't let me play soccer... and Daddy, he hit me, so that's who I am, that's why I do what I do? Fucking bullshit. I will not apologize for who I am. I will not apologize for what I need. I will not apologize for what I want!

Frank T.J. Mackey

Gwenovier: What are you doing?
Frank T.J. Mackey: I'm quietly judging you.

There are stories of coincidence and chance, of intersections and strange things told, and which is which and nobody knows; and we generally say, "Well, if that was in a movie, I wouldn't believe it."


Denise. Denise the piece.

Frank T.J. Mackey

Do you think they're your friends? They're not your friends. Do you really think she'll be there when things go bad? Huh? When things go wrong? You think again. Fucking Denise. Denise the piece. Oh, you're gonna give me that cherry pie sweet mama baby.

Frank T.J. Mackey

Claudia Wilson Gator: I wanted to do that.
Jim Kurring: Well...
Claudia Wilson Gator: That felt good to do - to do what I wanted to do.

I'll tell you everything, and you tell me everything, and maybe we can get through all the piss and shit and lies that kill other people.

Claudia Gator

Earl Partridge: I'll tell you the greatest regret of my life: I let my love go.

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Magnolia Quotes

I have so much love to give, I just don't know where to put it.

Quiz Kid Donnie Smith

Don't die, you fucking asshole, don't die. Don't die, you FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!

Frank T.J. Mackey