Have you ever been struck by lightning? It hurts.

Quiz Kid Donnie Smith

...whatever you wanna tell me, whatever you think might scare me, won't... and I will listen... I will be a good listener to you if that's what you want... and you know, you know... I won't judge you... I can do that sometimes, I know, but I won't... I can... listen to you and you shouldn't be scared of scaring me off or anything that you might think I'll think or on and on and just say it and I'll listen to you...

Jim Kurring

Don't die, you fucking asshole, don't die. Don't die, you FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!

Frank T.J. Mackey

Marcie: This is bullshit. This is fuckin' bullshit.
Jim Kurring: I want you to stay right there, Marcie.
Marcie: This is bullshit motherfucker. Mother-goddamn-fucker it's bullshit and you know it!

Jim Kurring: This is the LAPD. If there's someone back here...
Marcie: What I tell you? What I tell you? Ain't nobody in there! Where the fuck you goin' motherfuck? Don't go in my motherfuckin' bedroom and stay outta my motherfuckin' closet!

Jim Kurring: Now calm yourself down.
Marcie: [shouts] I am calm!
Jim Kurring: No you are not calm. You're screaming at me. Do you understand? I got a call for disturbance, and I'm going to checking it out. That is what I'm going to do. Are you alone in here?
Marcie: I ain't got to answer none of your questions.
Jim Kurring: No, you don't, but I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you alone in here?
Marcie: What does it look like?
Jim Kurring: There's no one else in here?
Marcie: You in here.
Jim Kurring: That's true, but is there anyone else besides me and you in this house?
Marcie: No, I said that already.
Jim Kurring: Are you lying to me?
Marcie: I live by myself.
Jim Kurring: That might be true, but the question I'm asking you, ma'am: is there anyone else in this house right now?
Marcie: No.

Burt Ramsey: You smell like trouble.
Jimmy Gator: I'm fucking hammered, Burt.

Oh, Lord, why is this happening to me? God, please help me figure this out. I'm lost out here! I don't understand why it's happening. God, please, God!

Jim Kurring

What did I do? What did I do? What did I do? Phil, help me, what did I do?

Earl Partridge

I loved her so. She knew what I did. She knew all the fucking stupid things I'd done. But the love... was stronger than anything you can think of. God damn regret!

Earl Partridge

And there is the account of the hanging of three men, and a scuba diver, and a suicide. There are stories of coincidence and chance, and intersections and strange things told, and which is which and who only knows? And we generally say, "Well, if that was in a movie, I wouldn't believe it." Someone's so-and-so met someone else's so-and-so and so on. And it is in the humble opinion of this narrator that strange things happen all the time. And so it goes, and so it goes. And the book says, "We may be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."

Narrator

Stanley Spector: This isn't funny. This isn't cute. See the way we're looked at? Because I'm not a toy. I'm not a doll. The way we're looked at because you think we're cute? Because, what? I'm made to feel like a freak if I answer questions? Or I'm smart? Or I have to go to the bathroom? What is that, Jimmy? What is that? I'm asking you that.
Jimmy Gator: I'm not sure, Stanley.

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Magnolia Quotes

I have so much love to give, I just don't know where to put it.

Quiz Kid Donnie Smith

Don't die, you fucking asshole, don't die. Don't die, you FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!

Frank T.J. Mackey