Good morning, gentlemen, and welcome to another season of Indians baseball.

Rachel Phelps

We did it! We did it!

Pedro Cerrano, Eddie Harris

Umpire: You threw at him intentionally!
Rick Vaughn: Oh, kiss my ass!
Umpire: You're gone!
Rick Vaughn: You're full of shit! Fuck you!
Umpire: Get outta here, rookie!
Rick Vaughn: Oh, why don't you blow me ump?

Heywood: Going somewhere, meat?
Willie Mays Hayes: About 90 feet.

Wild thing, you make my heart sing.

Lady

Wild Thing. You make my heart sing. You walk everything.

Indians Fan

How's your wife and my kids?

Heywood

In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few ball games, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar!

Harry Doyle

Rick Vaughn: You put snot on the ball?
Eddie Harris: I haven't got an arm like you, kid. I have to put anything on it I can find. Someday you will too.

The American Express Card. Don't steal home without it.

Willie Mays Hayes

Rachel Phelps: I think he'll fit right in with our team concept.
Charlie Donovan: That reminds me, I was going to ask you. What exactly is our team concept?

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Major League Quotes

Jake Taylor: That ball wouldn't have been out of a lot of parks.
Rick Vaughn: Name one.
Jake Taylor: Yellowstone?

Rick Vaughn: What's that shit on your chest?
Eddie Harris: Crisco? Bardol? Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball. Of course if the umps are watching me real close I'll rub a little jalapeño up my nose, get it running, and if I need to load the ball up I just... wipe my nose.