[narrating] Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.

Cady

Kevin: What's up?
Janis: Can I help you?
Kevin: You Puerto Rican?
Janis: Lebanese.
Kevin: I feel that.

Karen: I'm sick.
Regina: Boo, you whore.

I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.

Gretchen

[to the female student body] Okay, yeah. I've got an apology. So, I have this friend who is a new student this year. And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, and then she would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. And we gave these candy bar things that would make her gain weight, and then we turned her best friends against her. And then... Oh yeah, Cady - you know my friend Cady? She made out with her boyfriend, and we convinced him to break up with her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash. God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big *lesbian* crush on you! Suck on THAT!

Janis

If only you knew how mean she really is... You'd know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah! Two years ago she told me hoops earrings were *her* thing and I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannakuh my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn't even like them and... it was so sad. And you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep but really she's hooking up with Shane Ohman in the projection room above the auditorium! I never told anybody that because I am *such* a good friend!

Gretchen

Regina: I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.
Karen: Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?
Regina: I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. God, Karen. You're so stupid!
Gretchen: Wait, Regina! Talk to me!
Regina: No one understands me...

Chip Heron: Hey, how was school?
Cady: Fine.
Betsy Heron: Were people nice?
Cady: No.
Chip Heron: Did you make any friends?
Cady: Yes.

Cady: You're not stupid, Karen.
Karen: No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything!
Cady: Well... there must be something you're good at.
Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?
Cady: No no no... Anything else?
Karen: Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.

Karen: Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up?
Saleslady: Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears.

Janis: What's that smell?
Cady: Oh, um... Regina gave me some parfume
Janis: You smell like a baby prostitute
Cady: Cady: Thanks!

Janis: That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year.
Damian: She asked me how to spell orange.

Mean Girls made stars out of Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams. Watch Mean Girls online and see the brilliance of the screenplay of Tina Fey.

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Mean Girls Quotes

Cady: Hey!
Regina: Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
Cady: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
Regina: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.

Regina: But you're, like, really pretty.
Cady: Thank you.
Regina: So you agree?
Cady: What?
Regina: You think you're really pretty?
Cady: Oh... I don't know