Favorite Meet the Fockers Quotes
Bernie Focker: Do you want me to be macho wacho?
Greg Focker: Dad, have I ever said the words macho wacho to you?
Greg Focker: [high on Truth Serum, giving a speech] Hello everybody. I am, uh, about to set sail on my ship... on the sea of life with my first mate - the beautiful Pamela Byrnes.
Pam Byrnes: Love you, baby!
Greg Focker: [drunkenly blows back kiss, pauses] I still masturbate to Pam. What? She's hot - check out those boobs. I just wanna lather 'em up with soap and rub my face in 'em. I could take a vacation in there. What? Gosh, sorry you're perfect! And there's another wonderful lady in the audience, my future mother-in-law Dina Byrnes! Dina-Dina-Bo-Bina-I-love-Dina! Byrnes! You know they say you can tell from looking at the mother what your wife will look like in the future - well, I'm looking, and I'm LIKIN...
Greg Focker: In my first... passionate sexual awakening, I made sweet sweet love to my housekeeper, Isabelle.
Pam Byrnes: Come on, honey, that was in the past, so sit down.
Greg Focker: No no no, baby - I gotta get this off my chest.
Pam Byrnes: Please... sit.
Greg Focker: We conceived a child. Come on up here, Jorge! This is the fruit of my loins. Come on - search your heart, you know it to be true. Yo soy tu papa! Yeah, I know, a lot of information to take in. Give that boy a hand. Oh, and Jack - Pam's pregnant. Focker out.
Greg Focker: You meet some of the... eh... some of the cousins?
Jack Byrnes: I met some, yes. I met some... Dom?
Greg Focker: Yeah, Dom Focker, that's my dad's... uh... first cousin. You meet his kids, Randy and Orny?
Roz Focker: How's your sex life?
Dina Byrnes: I can't tell you that!
Roz Focker: I'm a professional. Dina, I'm a sex therapist specializing in senior sexuality.
Dina Byrnes: I knew those weren't yoga mats!
Roz Focker: No.
Dina Byrnes: Well, we're not twenty five... anymore.
Roz Focker: But you're not dead either! Lots of couples our age lack intimacy...
Dina Byrnes: I didn't say we weren't intimate, there are special occasions. Anniversaries and... well, on our anniversary.
Roz Focker: Oy, neesh geete!
Dina Byrnes: What?
Roz Focker: Not good!
Greg Focker: Hey, Dad, you shouldn't take Moses into the RV. Jack and Dina have a cat.
Bernie Focker: Oh, Moses is fine. He's perfectly trained.
Greg Focker: Dad, he humps everything that moves.
Roz Focker: [Laughing] He's like your father!
Bernie Focker: I never cheated on you!
Pam Byrnes: Did you tell your mother that I'm pregnant? Because she keeps touching my stomach and smiling like that.
Greg Focker: No, I didn't tell her. She guessed.
Pam Byrnes: She what?
Greg Focker: Yeah, and then she told my dad.
Pam Byrnes: Oh, my God.
Dina Byrnes: Sweetheart, do we really have to hurry like this?
Jack Byrnes: Oh, yes. We have to pull a little covert operation here. The bandleader says we've got approximately 23 minutes until it's time to cut the cake.
Greg Focker: What's the sign for sour milk, 'cause this tastes a little... funky.
Jack Byrnes: That's because that's from Debbie's left breast, Greg.
Roz Focker: Nah, I'm bored. Come on, Dina. You want a Spritzer?
Dina Byrnes: What? Oh, a Spritzer. Sounds yummy.
Bernie Focker: [hitting toilet with fire extinguisher] I gotta save my dog!
Jack Byrnes: Forget your dog, what about my toilet?
Jack Byrnes: Okay we can play 3 on 2, but we'll need someone to be official quarterback.
Bernie Focker: Gay goes both ways.
Jack Byrnes: Oh, I'll bet he does.
Bernie Focker: It's not about winning or losing. It's about passion. You know what I mean, Jack.
Jack Byrnes: Not really, Bernard. I think personal competitive drive is the essential key that makes America what it is today.
Bernie Focker: Well, whatever works.