Popular Meet the Parents Quotes
Bob Banks: What is that smell?
Jack Byrnes: That smell, Bob, is our shit. Focker flushed the toilet in the den so the septic tank overflowed.
Greg Focker: I told you, Jack, it wasn't me, it was Jinx.
Jack Byrnes: FOCKER, I'm not gonna tell you again. Jinx cannot flush the toilet. He's a cat for Christ sakes!
Larry: The animal doesn't even have thumbs, Focker.
Late Night Courier: Gaylord M. Focker?
Greg Focker: That's me.
Jack Byrnes: I thought your name was Greg.
Greg Focker: It is.
Late Night Courier: That's not what it says here.
Greg Focker: Gaylord is my legal name. Nobody's called me by it since third grade.
Denny Byrnes: Wait a minute, so your name is Gay Focker?
[on the phone] Yeah, you gave me the wrong suitcase. Uh-huh. Yes, it's a black Samsonite. Uh-huh. Ok, well don't you think that the Samsonite people, in some crazy scheme in order to make a profit, MADE MORE THAN ONE BLACK SUITCASE?Greg Focker
Jack Byrnes: "My Mother", by Jack Byrnes. You gave me life, / You gave me milk, / You gave me courage. / Your name was Angela, / An angel from Heaven, / But you were also an angel of God, / And he needed you, too. / I selfishly tried to hold on to you, / While the cancer ate away at your organs, / Like an unstoppable rebel force, / And now we'll meet in Heaven, / And I shall see you / Nevermore, nevermore, nevermore.
Pam Byrnes: Dad, that's beautiful.
Greg Focker: That's amazing, so much love, and also so much information.
I'm gonna go upstairs and pay a visit to the shower fairy.Greg Focker
I guess the only thing to do now is meet his parents. I'm sure they're decent people. I mean they gotta be if they named their son Gaylord Focker.Jack Byrnes
Jack Byrnes: I'm just curious, did you pick the color of the car?
Greg Focker: Uh no, the guy at the window did, why?
Jack Byrnes: Well they say geniuses pick green.
Greg Focker: Oh.
Jack Byrnes: But you didn't pick it.
Flight Attendant: Sir, we have a policy on this airline that if a bag is this large we take...
Greg Focker: okay you know what, take you scrubby little paws *off* my bag, okay? It's not like I have a bomb in here. It's not like I wanna blow up the plane. I just want to store my bag according to your safety regulations.
Flight Attendant: Sir, sir!
Greg Focker: Hey, hey, If you would take a second, take the little sticks out of your head, clean out your ears, and maybe you would see that I'm a person who has feelings, and all I have to do is do what I wanna do and all I want to do is hold on to my bag and not listen to you! And the only way that I would ever let go of my bag would be if you came over here right now and tried to pry it from my dead, lifeless fingers, okay? If you can get it from my kung-fu grip then you can come and have it, okay? Otherwise, step off, bitch.
Jack Byrnes: Oh, geez. I just thought of something.
Dina Byrnes: What?
Jack Byrnes: Pam's middle name.
Dina Byrnes: Martha... Oh, no.
Jack Byrnes, Dina Byrnes: Pamela Martha Focker.
I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown.Jack Byrnes
Greg Focker: Hey Jack, why don't you tell 'em about your little phone call in Thai.
Dina Byrnes: Jack can't talk Thai.
Greg Focker: Oh no, Dina, Jack can talk Thai. Jack talked Thai real well.
Trust me, Greg, when you start having little Fockers running around, you'll feel the need for this type of security.Jack Byrnes