Favorite Misery Quotes
Annie Wilkes: What's the ceiling that Dago painted?
Paul Sheldon: The Sistine Chapel?
I am your number one fan. There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine. I am your number one fan!Annie Wilkes
Annie Wilkes: YOU! YOU DIRTY BIRD, HOW COULD YOU!
Paul Sheldon: What?
Annie Wilkes: She can't be dead, MISERY CHASTAIN CANNOT BE DEAD!
Paul Sheldon: Annie, sometimes during childbirth, women don't survive. But Misery's SPIRIT is still alive... we shouldn't forget that.
Annie Wilkes: I DON'T WANT HER SPIRIT! I WANT HER, AND YOU MURDERED HER!
Paul Sheldon: No I didn't.
Annie Wilkes: WHO DID?
Paul Sheldon: She just died, slipped away!
Annie Wilkes: SLIPPED AWAY! NO, YOU MURDERED MY MISERY!
Oh forgive me, Paul, for prattling away and making everything all oogy.Annie Wilkes
Eat it 'til you choke, you sick, twisted fuck!Paul Sheldon
I thought you were good Paul... but you're not good. You're just another lying ol' dirty birdy.Annie Wilkes
He didn't get out of the COCKADOODIE CAR!Annie Wilkes
Annie Wilkes: When I was growing up in Bakersfield, my favourite thing in the whole world was to go to the movies on Saturday afternoons for the Chapter Plays.
Paul Sheldon: Cliffhangers.
Annie Wilkes: I know that, Mr. Man! They also called them serials. I'm not stupid you know... Anyway, my favorite was Rocketman, and once it was a no breaks chapter. The bad guy stuck him in a car on a mountain road and knocked him out and welded the door shut and tore out the brakes and started him to his death, and he woke up and tried to steer and tried to get out but the car went off a cliff before he could escape! And it crashed and burned and I was so upset and excited, and the next week, you better believe I was first in line. And they always start with the end of the last week. And there was Rocketman, trying to get out, and here comes the cliff, and just before the car went off the cliff, he jumped free! And all the kids cheered! But I didn't cheer. I stood right up and started shouting. This isn't what happened last week! Have you all got amnesia? They just cheated us! This isn't fair!!
And don't even think about anybody coming for you. Not the doctors, not your agent, not your family. 'Cause I never called them. Nobody knows you're here. You better hope nothing happens to me. Because if I die... you die.Annie Wilkes
MISERY IS ALIVE, MISERY IS ALIVE! OH, This whole house is going to be full of romance, OOOH, I AM GOING TO PUT ON MY LIBERACE RECORDS!Annie Wilkes
Paul Sheldon: Why would you lose me?
Annie Wilkes: Book's almost finished, your legs are getting better. Soon you'll be wanting to leave.
Paul Sheldon: Why would I leave? I like it here.
Annie Wilkes: That's very kind of you, but I'll bet it's not all together true.
[pulls a gun]
Annie Wilkes: I have this gun.
Annie Wilkes: Sometimes I think about using it. I'd better go now. I might put bullets in it.
Virginia McCain: Well, whoever she is, she sure likes to read a lot.
Sheriff John T. 'Buster' McCain: Virginia, I'm flattered that you think I have that kind of energy. I figure that if I can't find Paul Sheldon, at least I'll find out what he wrote about.
Virginia McCain: Well, what do you expect to find? A story about a guy who drove his car off a cliff in a snowstorm?
Sheriff John T. 'Buster' McCain: You see, it's just that kind of sarcasm that's given our marriage real spice.