Oh forgive me, Paul, for prattling away and making everything all oogy.

Annie Wilkes

Now the time has come. I put two bullets in my gun. One for me, and one for you. Oh darling, it will be so beautiful.

Annie Wilkes

Eat it 'til you choke, you sick, twisted fuck!

Paul Sheldon

Annie Wilkes: When I was growing up in Bakersfield, my favourite thing in the whole world was to go to the movies on Saturday afternoons for the Chapter Plays.
Paul Sheldon: Cliffhangers.
Annie Wilkes: I know that, Mr. Man! They also called them serials. I'm not stupid you know... Anyway, my favorite was Rocketman, and once it was a no breaks chapter. The bad guy stuck him in a car on a mountain road and knocked him out and welded the door shut and tore out the brakes and started him to his death, and he woke up and tried to steer and tried to get out but the car went off a cliff before he could escape! And it crashed and burned and I was so upset and excited, and the next week, you better believe I was first in line. And they always start with the end of the last week. And there was Rocketman, trying to get out, and here comes the cliff, and just before the car went off the cliff, he jumped free! And all the kids cheered! But I didn't cheer. I stood right up and started shouting. This isn't what happened last week! Have you all got amnesia? They just cheated us! This isn't fair!!

I thought you were good Paul... but you're not good. You're just another lying ol' dirty birdy.

Annie Wilkes

And don't even think about anybody coming for you. Not the doctors, not your agent, not your family. 'Cause I never called them. Nobody knows you're here. You better hope nothing happens to me. Because if I die... you die.

Annie Wilkes

Waitress: Excuse me, but are you Paul Sheldon?
Paul Sheldon: Yes.
Waitress: I just wanted to tell you I'm your number one fan!
Paul Sheldon: That's... very sweet of you...

Virginia McCain: Well, whoever she is, she sure likes to read a lot.
Sheriff John T. 'Buster' McCain: Virginia, I'm flattered that you think I have that kind of energy. I figure that if I can't find Paul Sheldon, at least I'll find out what he wrote about.
Virginia McCain: Well, what do you expect to find? A story about a guy who drove his car off a cliff in a snowstorm?
Sheriff John T. 'Buster' McCain: You see, it's just that kind of sarcasm that's given our marriage real spice.

I am your number one fan. There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine. I am your number one fan!

Annie Wilkes

Virginia McCain: [talking to Jim Taylor] No, he's not here. I don't know where he is, he never tells me anything any more. Probably out having an affair somewhere.
[Buster walks in]
Virginia McCain: Oh, here he is.
[hands Buster phone]
Virginia McCain: It's Jim Taylor, he wants to know who you're having an affair with.

FREE Movie Newsletter

Misery Quotes

Annie Wilkes: What's the ceiling that Dago painted?
Paul Sheldon: The Sistine Chapel?

I am your number one fan. There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine. I am your number one fan!

Annie Wilkes