John Smith: Did you hear the helicopter dropping me off that night for our anniversary dinner?
Jane Smith: No. Oh, percussion grenades. I was partially deaf that evening.

John Smith: [talking about their predicament] So what do we do, Jane? Shoot it out here? Hope for the best?
Jane Smith: Well, that would be bad because they would probably ask me to leave once you are dead.

Jane Smith: [dancing with John, he's just finished searching her for weapons] Satisfied?
John Smith: Not for years.

John Smith: That left of yours is a thing of beauty.
Jane Smith: Mmm. You take it well.

John Smith: You live with your mom, Eddie.
Eddie: [offended] Why would you bring her into this, she happens to be a first class lady!

Eddie: You gotta take this bitch out!
John Smith: Don't tell me how to handle my wife.

John Smith: Dance with me.
Jane Smith: You don't dance.
John Smith: It was just my cover, sweetheart.
Jane Smith: Was sloth your cover too?

[after firing a rocket launcher] We should so not be allowed to buy these.

John Smith

Marriage Counselor: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?
Jane Smith: 8.
John Smith: Wait. Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest? 10 being perfectly happy and 1 being totally miserable or...
Marriage Counselor: Just respond instinctively.
John Smith: Ok. Ready?
Jane Smith, John Smith: 8.

[hitman from the BMW opens the van's left door. John opens the other van door and yanks the hitman through] These doors are handy

John Smith

John Smith: [angry that Benjamin had blown their cover] You burn the picture after you get the assignment! It's the first thing you learn!
Benjamin: Oh, I must have missed that day. Just like you missed the day of don't marry the enemy.

Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet.

Jane Smith

FREE Movie Newsletter

Mr. & Mrs. Smith Quotes

Jane Smith: That vacation in Aspen, you left early, why?
John Smith: Jean-Luc Gaspard.
Jane Smith: Damn, I wanted him.
John Smith: I got it.

John Smith: Hiya, stranger.
Jane Smith: Hiya back.