Popular Mr. & Mrs. Smith Quotes
Jane Smith: That vacation in Aspen, you left early, why?
John Smith: Jean-Luc Gaspard.
Jane Smith: Damn, I wanted him.
John Smith: I got it.
John Smith: Option A: You talk, we listen, no pain. Option B: You don't talk, I remove your thumbs with my pliers, it will hurt. Option C: I like to vary the details but the punchline... you die.
Eddie: This broad is not your wife, she's the enemy.
John Smith: She tried to kill me.
Eddie: They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly, and then wham. They hurt you. How you going to handle it?
John Smith: [grabs assault rifle] I'm going to borrow this.
Eddie: I like where your head's at, man.
Jane Smith: Any last words?
John Smith: The new curtains are hideous.
[after his wife checks his crotch for a weapon] That's all John, sweetheart.John Smith
[hitman from the BMW opens the van's left door. John opens the other van door and yanks the hitman through] These doors are handyJohn Smith
Marriage Counselor: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?
Jane Smith: 8.
John Smith: Wait. Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest? 10 being perfectly happy and 1 being totally miserable or...
Marriage Counselor: Just respond instinctively.
John Smith: Ok. Ready?
Jane Smith, John Smith: 8.
Your aim's as bad as your cooking sweetheart... and that's saying something!John Smith
John Smith: [angry that Benjamin had blown their cover] You burn the picture after you get the assignment! It's the first thing you learn!
Benjamin: Oh, I must have missed that day. Just like you missed the day of don't marry the enemy.
I guess that's what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning.John Smith
Eddie: Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lying bitch.
Jane Smith: This lying bitch?
Eddie: Guess that was just wishful thinking.
John Smith: Hiya, stranger.
Jane Smith: Hiya back.