[upon seeing that he was photographed murdering two people]
Mr. Earl Brooks: You see that, Marshall? That's why I didn't want to do the dance couple.
Marshall: Stop your fucking whining, Earl. You enjoyed doing that couple just as much as I did, and look at the bright side - he came to us. He didn't go to the cops. If he tries to shake us down, we kill him. Period. We make it fun, but we kill him! End of story.

Mr. Earl Brooks: [about Mr. Smith] Maybe I should drive over there and pick him up.
Marshall: No, just honk. Maybe he'll get killed crossing the street. Save us the mess of doing it.
[Both start laughing. Then, Mr. Brooks honks the horn and Mr. Smith nearly gets hit by a car while crossing]
Mr. Earl Brooks: Almost.

Finding someone you think would be fun to kill is a bit like, well it's a bit like falling in love. You meet a lot of candidates, and you like some of them, and they're nice. But they're not right. And that special one comes along, and your heart beats faster, and you know that's the one.

Mr. Earl Brooks

Mr. Earl Brooks: [talking about Jane] Well, we were right. She was hiding something.
Marshall: Pregnant's not all of it. She's hiding something, bigger. Something much bigger.
Mr. Earl Brooks: You think so?
Marshall: I know so... and so do you.

Mr. Earl Brooks: Would it bother you to kill a woman?
Mr. Smith: No. No, an asshole's an asshole.

For all the taxes we pay, you'd think they'd make it more difficult to hack into the police personnel file.

Marshall

If I were here to kill you, you would already be dead.

Mr. Earl Brooks

Mr. Smith: What are we doing here, tonight?
Mr. Earl Brooks: We drive around until we see someone we think we might enjoy killing...
Mr. Smith: Can it be somebody that I know?
Mr. Earl Brooks: [laughs] No. You never kill someone you know. It's the easiest way to get caught.

[of Mr. Smith] Even if that guy was charming and funny, I still wouldn't like him.

Marshall

Let the police put Jane in jail. Hopefully that will save her. And we can happily go on with our tortured lives.

Marshall

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannont change, the courage to change the things that I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Mr. Earl Brooks

Before I was the Thumbprint Killer, Mr. Smith, I killed a lot of people in a lot of different ways.

Mr. Earl Brooks

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Mr. Brooks Quotes

I don't enjoy killing, Mr. Smith. I do it because I'm addicted to it.

Mr. Earl Brooks

You always want to invest in things people can't do without. Water and cemeteries... pretty safe bets.

Mr. Earl Brooks