I gave you life so that you could live it.

Maria Portokalos

Toula Portokalos: There are three things that every Greek woman must do in life: marry Greek boys, make Greek babies, and feed everyone.

[narration] My family is big and loud but they're my family. We fight and we laugh and yes, we roast lamb on a spit in the front yard. And where ever I go, what ever I do they will always be there.

Toula Portokalos

Gus Portokalos: [crying] Why you want to leave me?
Toula Portokalos: I'm not leaving you! Don't you want me to do something with my life?
Gus Portokalos: Yes! Get married, make babies! You look so... old!

Toula Portokalos: [narrating] My dad believed in two things: That Greeks should educate non Greeks about being Greek and every ailment from psoriasis to poison ivy can be cured with Windex.

Toula Portokalos: Why ... why do you love me?
Ian Miller: Because I came alive when I met you

[describing Ian] A xeno with big, long, hair on top of his head!

Gus Portokalos

Toula Portokalos: I'm Greek, right?
Ian Miller: Right?
Toula Portokalos: So, what happens is my dad and uncles, they fight over who gets to eat the lamb brain. And then my aunt Voula forks the eyeball and chases me around with it, try to get me to eat it, 'cause it's gonna make me smart. So, you have two cousins, I have 27 first cousins. Just 27 first cousins alone! And my whole family is big and loud. And everybody is in each other's lives and business. All the time! Like, you never just have a minute alone, just to think, 'Cause we're always together, just eating, eating, eating! The only other people we know are Greeks, 'cause Greeks marry Greeks to breed more Greeks, to be loud breeding Greek eaters.
Ian Miller: Wow.

Aunt Voula: Toula. Toula! You're engaged. You're engaged-We never think this would happen for you. Never. *Never.* Taki, didn't we say that...
Uncle Taki: We never think this day would come. Never.

Yianni: Ian, if you're gonna be in this family, I get you some earplugs because the Portokalos women, if they're not nagging someone... THEY DIE!
Toula Portokalos: Ah, you're in so much trouble when I tell my sister!
Athena: Tell me what?

Maria Portokalos: Ian, are you hungry?
Ian Miller: Uh no, I already ate.
Maria Portokalos: Okay, I make you something.

It is YOUR LUCKY DAY... to be baptized into the Greek Orthodox Church!

Gus Portokalos

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My Big Fat Greek Wedding Quotes

Toula Portokalos: What happened? Biker fight? nose job? What?
Ian Miller: Uh... yeah.
Toula Portokalos: No, really.
Ian Miller: You don't want to know.
Toula Portokalos: Oh I don't know. If I had survived an old lady ass-kicking I would want to brag about it.

Hey Ian, we're gonna kill ya! Opa!