Maria Portokalos: We must let Kosta think this was his idea.
Aunt Voula: All right, I know.
Maria Portokalos: That he came up with it.
Aunt Voula: All right.
Toula Portokalos: Ma, he's gonna figure it out.
Maria Portokalos: Don't you worry.
Aunt Voula: Okay, I know what to do you.
Maria Portokalos: You don't know what to do. You talk, talk, talk, all the time!
Aunt Voula: Do you want my help?
Maria Portokalos: Yes, I want your help!
Aunt Voula: Tell me what to say. But don't tell me what to say.
Maria Portokalos: Perfect!

Aunt Voula: Nikki, how come you no come to curler my hairs this morning?
Nikki: Ma! I had to drop Dimos at work. And now, I gotta go open the travel agency, because, you know, some jag-off and his big-ass girlfriend are too busy.

Athena: I'm going to The Jewel. Listen, I'll get you some pantyhose.
Maria Portokalos: No queen size. They make me look fat.

Toula Portokalos: I woke up with this huge zit this morning.
Ian Miller: Where?
Toula Portokalos: [points to spot on face] There.
Ian Miller: I had a huge zit this morning!
Toula Portokalos: Really? Where?
Ian Miller: [points to his face] Well, it was there, but it's gone now.
Toula Portokalos: Why?
Ian Miller: I put some Windex on it.

Put some Windex.

Gus Portokalos

Give me a word, any word, and I show you that the root of that word is Greek.

Gus Portokalos

Nick Portokalos: Listen, you know. I really think you should say: eho tria orchidea. It means: everyone, let's come in the house. I think everybody will really like it.
Ian Miller: Eho tria orchidea?
Nick Portokalos: Yeah! That's good! Very good! You got it!
Ian Miller: I'm not falling for that again, Nick.
Nick Portokalos: What?
Ian Miller: Yeah, what. Angelo? How do you say: everyone, let's go into the house?
Angelo: Eho tria orchidea!
Nick Portokalos: Hum?
Ian Miller: Everyone: eho tria orchidea! [translation: "I have three testicles!"]

Ian Miller: How do you say "thank you" in Greek?
Nick: "Oréa viziá."
Ian Miller: "Oréa viziá." [English translation: "Nice boobs."]

Gus Portokalos: Where are you going?
Toula Portokalos: I'm taking a pottery class.
Gus Portokalos: Ah! The Greeks invented pottery. Hmph.

Nice Greek girls who don't find a husband, work in the family restaurant. So here I am, day after day, year after year, 30 and way past my expiration date.

Toula Portokalos

[to Ian's parents] Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the "bobopsy." Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal cord. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin.

Aunt Voula

Harriet Miller: How are we supposed to know what's going on?
Rodney Miller: It's all Greek to me.

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My Big Fat Greek Wedding Quotes

Toula Portokalos: What happened? Biker fight? nose job? What?
Ian Miller: Uh... yeah.
Toula Portokalos: No, really.
Ian Miller: You don't want to know.
Toula Portokalos: Oh I don't know. If I had survived an old lady ass-kicking I would want to brag about it.

Hey Ian, we're gonna kill ya! Opa!

Angelo