Shall we ask this baggage to sit down or shall we just throw her out of the window?

Professor Henry Higgins

You oughta be stuffed with nails, you ought!

Eliza Doolittle

There even are places where English completely disappears; in America they haven't used it for years.

Professor Henry Higgins

The French don't care what they do actually, as long as they pronounce it properly.

Professor Henry Higgins

There can't be any feeling between the likes of me and the likes of you.

Eliza Doolittle

Professor Henry Higgins: May I ask, do you complain of your treatment here?
Eliza Doolittle: No.
Professor Henry Higgins: Has anyone behaved badly? Colonel Pickering, Mrs. Pearce?
Eliza Doolittle: No.
Professor Henry Higgins: You certainly don't pretend that I have treated you badly?
Eliza Doolittle: No.

The question is not whether I've treated you rudely but whether you've ever heard me treat anyone else better.

Professor Henry Higgins

The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.

Eliza Doolittle

Higgins, at a time like this, it's positively indecent that you don't need a glass of port.

Colonel Hugh Pickering

I could have danced all night.

Eliza Doolittle

Colonel Hugh Pickering: Are you a man of good character where women are concerned?
Professor Henry Higgins: Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned?
Colonel Hugh Pickering: Yes, very frequently.
Professor Henry Higgins: Well, I haven't. I find that the moment a woman makes friends with me she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious, and a damn nuisance. And I find that the moment I make friends with a woman I become selfish and tyrannical. So here I am, a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so.

Henry! What a disagreeable surprise.

Mrs. Higgins

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My Fair Lady Quotes

[singing] Women are irrational, that's all there is to that! Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags. They're nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating, calculating, agitating, maddening and infuriating hags!

Professor Henry Higgins

Professor Henry Higgins: All right, Eliza, say it again.
Eliza Doolittle: The rine in spine sties minely in the pline.
Professor Henry Higgins: [sighs] The "rain" in "Spain" stays "mainly" in the "plain".
Eliza Doolittle: Didn't ah sy that?
Professor Henry Higgins: No, Eliza, you didn't "sy" that, you didn't even "say" that. Now every night before you get into bed, where you used to say your prayers, I want you to say "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain" fifty times. You'll get much further with the Lord if you learn not to offend His ears.