Professor Henry Higgins: May I ask, do you complain of your treatment here?
Eliza Doolittle: No.
Professor Henry Higgins: Has anyone behaved badly? Colonel Pickering, Mrs. Pearce?
Eliza Doolittle: No.
Professor Henry Higgins: You certainly don't pretend that I have treated you badly?
Eliza Doolittle: No.

The question is not whether I've treated you rudely but whether you've ever heard me treat anyone else better.

Professor Henry Higgins

The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.

Eliza Doolittle

Higgins, at a time like this, it's positively indecent that you don't need a glass of port.

Colonel Hugh Pickering

I could have danced all night.

Eliza Doolittle

Colonel Hugh Pickering: Are you a man of good character where women are concerned?
Professor Henry Higgins: Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned?
Colonel Hugh Pickering: Yes, very frequently.
Professor Henry Higgins: Well, I haven't. I find that the moment a woman makes friends with me she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious, and a damn nuisance. And I find that the moment I make friends with a woman I become selfish and tyrannical. So here I am, a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so.

Henry! What a disagreeable surprise.

Mrs. Higgins

[singing] Women are irrational, that's all there is to that! Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags. They're nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating, calculating, agitating, maddening and infuriating hags!

Professor Henry Higgins

Professor Henry Higgins: All right, Eliza, say it again.
Eliza Doolittle: The rine in spine sties minely in the pline.
Professor Henry Higgins: [sighs] The "rain" in "Spain" stays "mainly" in the "plain".
Eliza Doolittle: Didn't ah sy that?
Professor Henry Higgins: No, Eliza, you didn't "sy" that, you didn't even "say" that. Now every night before you get into bed, where you used to say your prayers, I want you to say "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain" fifty times. You'll get much further with the Lord if you learn not to offend His ears.

"You" won my bet? You presumptuous insect, "I" won it.

Professor Henry Higgins

I know your head aches; I know you're tired; I know your nerves are as raw as meat in a butcher's window. But think what you're trying to accomplish. Think what you're dealing with. The majesty and grandeur of the English language, it's the greatest possession we have. The noblest thoughts that ever flowed through the hearts of men are contained in its extraordinary, imaginative, and musical mixtures of sounds. And that's what you've set yourself out to conquer Eliza. And conquer it you will.

Professor Henry Higgins

Professor Henry Higgins: You see, the great secret, Eliza, is not a question of good manners or bad manners, or any particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls. The question is not whether I treat you rudely, but whether you've ever heard me treat anyone else better.
Eliza Doolittle: I don't care how you treat me. I don't mind your swearing at me. I shouldn't mind a black eye; I've had one before this. But I won't be passed over!
Professor Henry Higgins: Well then, get out of my way, for I won't stop for you. You talk about me as though I were a motor bus.
Eliza Doolittle: So you are a motor bus! All bounce and go, and no consideration for anybody. But I can get along without you. Don't you think I can't!
Professor Henry Higgins: I know you can. I told you you could.
[pause]
Professor Henry Higgins: [quietly] You've never wondered, I suppose, whether... whether I could get along without you.
Eliza Doolittle: Well, you have my voice on your phonograph. When you feel lonesome without me you can turn it on. It has no feelings to hurt.
Professor Henry Higgins: I... I can't turn your soul on.
Eliza Doolittle: Ooh, you are a "devil". You can twist the heart in a girl the same way some fellows twist her arms to hurt her!

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My Fair Lady Quotes

[singing] Women are irrational, that's all there is to that! Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags. They're nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating, calculating, agitating, maddening and infuriating hags!

Professor Henry Higgins

Come on, Dover! Come on, Dover! Move your bloomin' arse!

Eliza Doolittle