You oughta be stuffed with nails, you ought!

Eliza Doolittle

Damn Mrs. Pearce; damn the coffee; and damn you!

Professor Henry Higgins

And I say, them 'as pinched it, done her in.

Eliza Doolittle

Shall we ask this baggage to sit down or shall we just throw her out of the window?

Professor Henry Higgins

Professor Henry Higgins: Have some chocolates, Eliza.
Eliza Doolittle: [halting, tempted] 'Ow do I know what might be in 'em? I've 'eard o' girls bein' drugged by the likes o' you.
Professor Henry Higgins: [Takes a chocolate and breaks it in half] Pledge of good faith. I'll take one half...
[puts one half into his mouth and bolts it; then pops the other half into Eliza's mouth]
Professor Henry Higgins: And you take the other. You'll have boxes of them, barrels of them. You'll live on them, eh?
Eliza Doolittle: [Eliza chews hesitatingly] I wouldn't've et it, only I'm too ladylike to take it out o' me mouth.
Professor Henry Higgins: Think of it, Eliza. Think of chocolates. And taxis...! And gold! And diamonds!
Eliza Doolittle: Ah-ah-ah-ow-ow-oo! I don't want no gold and no diamonds! I'm a good girl, I am!

Eliza? Where the devil are my slippers?

Professor Henry Higgins

You might marry, you know. You see, Eliza, all men are not confirmed old bachelors like myself and the Colonel. Most men are the marrying sort, poor devils. And you're not bad-looking; you're really quite a pleasure to look at sometimes. Not now, of course, when you've been crying, you look like the very devil; but when you're all right, and quite yourself, you're what I would call... attractive.

Professor Henry Higgins

Freddy Eynsford-Hill: Darling!
Eliza Doolittle: Freddy, whatever are you doing here?
Freddy Eynsford-Hill: Nothing. I spend most of my nights here. It's the only place where I'm happy.
[Freddy steps forward]
Freddy Eynsford-Hill: Don't laugh at me, Miss Doolittle.
Eliza Doolittle: Don't you call me 'Miss Doolittle', do ya hear? Eliza's good enough for me.
[Eliza starts to leave, then turns to Freddy, who is eagerly following]
Eliza Doolittle: Oh, Freddy, "you" don't think I'm a heartless guttersnipe, do you?
Freddy Eynsford-Hill: Darling, how could you imagine such a thing? You know how I feel. I've written two and three times a day telling you. Sheets and sheets!

Oh, Pickering, for God's sake stop being dashed and do something!

Professor Henry Higgins

Cockney: We've got a bloomin' heiress in our midst. Will you be needing a butler, Eliza?
Eliza Doolittle: Well you won't do.

Lady at Ball: That young woman with Colonel Pickering, find out who she is.
Zoltan Karpathy: With pleasure!

Professor Henry Higgins: By George, she's got it! By George she's got it! Now once again, where does it rain?
Eliza Doolittle: [sings] On the plain, on the plain.
Professor Henry Higgins: And where's that soggy plain?
Eliza Doolittle: [sings] In Spain, in Spain!

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My Fair Lady Quotes

[singing] Women are irrational, that's all there is to that! Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags. They're nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating, calculating, agitating, maddening and infuriating hags!

Professor Henry Higgins

Come on, Dover! Come on, Dover! Move your bloomin' arse!

Eliza Doolittle