Why did G-Girl throw a shark at us?

Hannah Lewis

Go and hide out somewhere. San Diego, Tahiti, Utah. No! Not Utah. Utah sucks.

Matt Saunders

Jenny Johnson: [after breaking the bed while having sex] I'm sorry. I'll get you a new one.
Matt Saunders: A bed or a penis?
Jenny Johnson: Both.

Get away from my boyfriend, you crazy bitch!

Hannah Lewis

Jenny Johnson: [seductively, walking toward him slowly] Matt Saunders, I'm afraid you've been a very evil boy. I think you need to be brought to justice.
Matt Saunders: [with a big grin on his face] Oh, yeah, I have been known to break a few rules here and there.
Jenny Johnson: [still seductive] Total, unequivocal justice.

Oh, no no. Don't tell me. You have invaded the female nation and spread your democracy.

Vaughn Haige

Carla Dunkirk: You are headed for some serious trouble.
Matt Saunders: I hear you, Homegirl. I got it.

Vaughn Haige: There are 3 moments I'll remember 'til the day I die. 1: the look on my father's face when I graduated from Harvard law school. 2: Helping a beached mother whale give birth. And... 3: You and me, together, here, tonight.
Shapely Bartender: Don't speak to me again... ever.

Matt Saunders: I'm not going to help you kill her!
Professor Bedlam: Kill? I didn't say "kill"! I said "neutralize"! It's a neutral word... like Switzerland!

Matt Saunders: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Vaughn Haige: The ability to gratify myself orally.
Matt Saunders: Interesting. But wouldn't that be a little...
Matt Saunders, Vaughn Haige: Gay.
Vaughn Haige: No.
Matt Saunders: Yeah.
Vaughn Haige: Not at all. Think about it.
Matt Saunders: Really? It seems that way.

[last lines]
Matt Saunders: Wanna get a beer?
Professor Bedlam: Sure, let's do it.

[over the phone]
Matt Saunders: What's going on there?
Vaughn Haige: Some big fire on 73rd and Broadway. Everything's burning.
Matt Saunders: Is anyone hurt?
Vaughn Haige: I don't know, probably. It's blocking my way to the gym.
Matt Saunders: All my thoughts are with you in this time of crisis.

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My Super Ex-Girlfriend Quotes

[after revealing her secret to Matt]
Jenny Johnson: Say "I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell."
Matt Saunders: Is that a possibility?
Jenny Johnson: Say it!
Matt Saunders: Ok. I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell.

Why did G-Girl throw a shark at us?

Hannah Lewis