Looks like tonight the lone wolf rides... alone

Mr. Furious

I have created a beautiful machine that is going to encourage our fellow citizens to share my vision of the future! Can you dig it?

Casanova Frankenstein

I'm a superhero, Mother. An effete British superhero.

The Blue Raja

Dr. Heller: That's a high-temperature fabric adhesive liquid projector, based on simple dry-cleaning technology. You aim that at a guy, and I'll tell you something: his clothes get so tight he can't even breathe.

A fish-fork is no match for my machine!

Casanova Frankenstein

May the forks be with us.

The Blue Raja

Monica: I don't find you threatening.
Mr. Furious: Oh! Well, you're very, uh... you're very, uh... kind.
Monica: At all.

[to her father's skull, after avenging his death] OK, now I'm going back to graduate school. That was the agreement.

The Bowler

Okay. Right now, I'm kinda like a powder keg, and you're the match.

Mr. Furious

We fight crime. Call it what you will.

The Shoveller

Dr. Heller: If you're gonna bust into that mansion, you're gonna need more than a station wagon.
Mr. Furious: At the auto yard, there's this old Herkimer Battle Jitney. Sally's always telling me to junk it!
Dr. Heller: Wait! You have a Herkimer Battle Jitney? That's the finest nonlethal military vehicle ever made!

[the Spleen is shot in the rear]
The Spleen: I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS. I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS.
Invisible Boy: Does your power still work?
The Spleen: Uh-oh, weapons check. Pull my fingers.
[Invisible Boy pulls. Spleen lets loose a wind of gas, wiping out an entire gang]
The Spleen: It'll do.

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Mystery Men Quotes

You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums.

The Sphinx

The Shoveller: Lucille, God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
Lucille: Honey, you shovel better than any man I've ever known, but that does not make you a super hero.
[the Shoveller starts to say something, but Lucille cuts him off]
Lucille: No, listen to me. You're a good husband, and a good father. But that's all. Nothing more.
[she walks offscreen, a small boy wearing a Captain Amazing T-shirt hugs The Shoveller's leg]
Roland, The Shoveler's Son: I believe in you, Daddy!
Lucille: [calling from off-screen] Roland, do *not* encourage your father.