This is egg salad. It's loaded with cholesterol, the wife won't even let me touch it. It hardly seems to matter now 'cause, chances are, we're already dead. Amazing is gone, there's no use waiting for the cavalry, because as of this moment, the cavalry is *us*!

The Shoveller

All I'm saying is, when we split the cheque three ways the steak-eater picks the pocket of the salad-man.

The Blue Raja

We've got a blind date with Destiny - and it looks like she's ordered the lobster.

The Shoveller

The Shoveller: Lucille, God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
Lucille: Honey, you shovel better than any man I've ever known, but that does not make you a super hero.
[the Shoveller starts to say something, but Lucille cuts him off]
Lucille: No, listen to me. You're a good husband, and a good father. But that's all. Nothing more.
[she walks offscreen, a small boy wearing a Captain Amazing T-shirt hugs The Shoveller's leg]
Roland, The Shoveler's Son: I believe in you, Daddy!
Lucille: [calling from off-screen] Roland, do *not* encourage your father.

Dr. Heller: That's a high-temperature fabric adhesive liquid projector, based on simple dry-cleaning technology. You aim that at a guy, and I'll tell you something: his clothes get so tight he can't even breathe.

A fish-fork is no match for my machine!

Casanova Frankenstein

I don't need a compass to know which way the wind shines.

Mr. Furious

We're not your classic heros. We're the other guys.

The Shoveller

I'm a superhero, Mother. An effete British superhero.

The Blue Raja

Monica: I don't find you threatening.
Mr. Furious: Oh! Well, you're very, uh... you're very, uh... kind.
Monica: At all.

I have created a beautiful machine that is going to encourage our fellow citizens to share my vision of the future! Can you dig it?

Casanova Frankenstein

We are number one. All others are number two, or lower.

The Sphinx

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Mystery Men Quotes

You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums.

The Sphinx

The Shoveller: Lucille, God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
Lucille: Honey, you shovel better than any man I've ever known, but that does not make you a super hero.
[the Shoveller starts to say something, but Lucille cuts him off]
Lucille: No, listen to me. You're a good husband, and a good father. But that's all. Nothing more.
[she walks offscreen, a small boy wearing a Captain Amazing T-shirt hugs The Shoveller's leg]
Roland, The Shoveler's Son: I believe in you, Daddy!
Lucille: [calling from off-screen] Roland, do *not* encourage your father.