After all, I am a ticking time bomb of fury.

Mr. Furious

To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn.

The Sphinx

We are number one. All others are number two, or lower.

The Sphinx

He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.

The Sphinx

You must be like wolf pack, not six-pack.

The Sphinx

We fight crime. Call it what you will.

The Shoveller

Dr. Heller: If you're gonna bust into that mansion, you're gonna need more than a station wagon.
Mr. Furious: At the auto yard, there's this old Herkimer Battle Jitney. Sally's always telling me to junk it!
Dr. Heller: Wait! You have a Herkimer Battle Jitney? That's the finest nonlethal military vehicle ever made!

Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you want to keep fighting evil today.

The Bowler

We've got a blind date with Destiny - and it looks like she's ordered the lobster.

The Shoveller

You must've torn out the "Q" section in my dictionary, because I don't know the meaning of the word "quit".

Mr. Furious

Looks like tonight the lone wolf rides... alone

Mr. Furious

May the forks be with us.

The Blue Raja

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Mystery Men Quotes

You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums.

The Sphinx

The Shoveller: Lucille, God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
Lucille: Honey, you shovel better than any man I've ever known, but that does not make you a super hero.
[the Shoveller starts to say something, but Lucille cuts him off]
Lucille: No, listen to me. You're a good husband, and a good father. But that's all. Nothing more.
[she walks offscreen, a small boy wearing a Captain Amazing T-shirt hugs The Shoveller's leg]
Roland, The Shoveler's Son: I believe in you, Daddy!
Lucille: [calling from off-screen] Roland, do *not* encourage your father.