The Shoveller: If we had a billionaire like Lance Hunt as our benefactor...
Mr. Furious: That's because Lance Hunt *IS* Captain Amazing
The Shoveller: Don't start that *again*. Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing *doesn't* wear glasses.
Mr. Furious: He takes them off when he transforms.
The Shoveller: That doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't be able to see.

There's not enough beer in the world, Spleen, I'm sorry.

The Bowler

See now, this is why mad scientists are generally less desirable than your common or garden variety scientist.

The Bowler

So what do you say? Do we all gather together, and go kick some Casanova butt? Or do I eat this sandwich?

The Shoveller

Mr. Furious: Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little bit formulaic? "If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up. If you want to go left, you have to go right." It's...
The Sphinx: Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage...
Mr. Furious: ...your rage will become your master? That's what you were going to say. Right? Right?
The Sphinx: Not necessarily.

The Shoveller: You're the master of cutlery. You can't throw a knife sometimes when someone's trying to kill me?
The Blue Raja: No, I can't. You can't use a rake sometimes?
The Shoveller: No, I'm the Shoveller.
The Blue Raja: Well, I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man. I'm not Knifey Boy. I'm the Blue Raja.

Mr. Furious: That could work. I'm a loose cannon. I'm unpredictable. I stormed off, why can't I storm back?
Monica: Or, you could just say you're sorry.
Mr. Furious: Do you think there's a really angry way I can say I'm sorry?

Tony P.: You're baby Bowler!
The Bowler: Is that a problem?
Tony P.: Hello, I'm the guy that gave your daddy the shaft. Ha-ha!

The Shoveller: Watch it, Spleen, you're going to kill someone with that thing!
Dr. Heller: Oh, no, no, no. All these weapons are completely non-lethal.
The Bowler: Wow. How wonderfully eccentric while simultaneously being a complete waste of our time. Good day, sir. I say good day.

Disco is NOT dead!

Tony P.

The Shoveller: All right, I'll take point, you two flank. Let's triangulate.
The Spleen: Equilateral or isosceles?

The police ruled my father's death a suicide. They said he fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.

The Bowler

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Mystery Men Quotes

You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums.

The Sphinx

The Shoveller: Lucille, God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
Lucille: Honey, you shovel better than any man I've ever known, but that does not make you a super hero.
[the Shoveller starts to say something, but Lucille cuts him off]
Lucille: No, listen to me. You're a good husband, and a good father. But that's all. Nothing more.
[she walks offscreen, a small boy wearing a Captain Amazing T-shirt hugs The Shoveller's leg]
Roland, The Shoveler's Son: I believe in you, Daddy!
Lucille: [calling from off-screen] Roland, do *not* encourage your father.