The Shoveller: If we had a billionaire like Lance Hunt as our benefactor...
Mr. Furious: That's because Lance Hunt *IS* Captain Amazing
The Shoveller: Don't start that *again*. Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing *doesn't* wear glasses.
Mr. Furious: He takes them off when he transforms.
The Shoveller: That doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't be able to see.

The Blue Raja: Your boy's a limey fork-flinger, Mother. What *will* the bridge club say?
Blue Raja's mother: You need more forks?

Lucille: If just one person vomits in my pool, I'm divorcing you.
The Shoveller: That's fair.

Mr. Furious: We're an elite cadr-cadrey...
The Bowler: Cadre.
The Shoveller: You're in.

I just want to tell you that if I don't call you it's because I'm dead.

Mr. Furious

I would like to dedicate my victory to supporters of local music and those who seek out independent films.

The Bowler

Mr. Furious: I'm a Pantera's box you do not wanna open.
Casanova Frankenstein: It is "Pandora."
Mr. Furious: Please don't correct me, it sickens me.

Sally: When are you going to tear down that jeep out there?
Mr. Furious: Now we went through this yesterday. That "jeep" is actually an armored car of some kind. It was made to withstand bombs, I can't just rip it apart with a crowbar.

We struck down evil with the mighty sword of teamwork and the hammer of not bickering.

The Shoveller

Capt. Amazing: I knew you couldn't change.
Casanova Frankenstein: I knew you'd know that.
Capt. Amazing: Oh, I know that. AND I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.
Casanova Frankenstein: But I didn't. I only knew that you'd know that I knew. Did you know THAT?
Capt. Amazing: Of course.

Mr. Furious: Rage... taking over...
Casanova Frankenstein: Yes, yes, we've heard that before.
Mr. Furious: No. Rage... REALLY taking over...

[the Spleen is shot in the rear]
The Spleen: I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS. I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS.
Invisible Boy: Does your power still work?
The Spleen: Uh-oh, weapons check. Pull my fingers.
[Invisible Boy pulls. Spleen lets loose a wind of gas, wiping out an entire gang]
The Spleen: It'll do.

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Mystery Men Quotes

You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums.

The Sphinx

The Shoveller: Lucille, God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
Lucille: Honey, you shovel better than any man I've ever known, but that does not make you a super hero.
[the Shoveller starts to say something, but Lucille cuts him off]
Lucille: No, listen to me. You're a good husband, and a good father. But that's all. Nothing more.
[she walks offscreen, a small boy wearing a Captain Amazing T-shirt hugs The Shoveller's leg]
Roland, The Shoveler's Son: I believe in you, Daddy!
Lucille: [calling from off-screen] Roland, do *not* encourage your father.