Clark: Real tomato ketchup, Eddie?
Cousin Eddie: Oh, nothing but the best.

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National Lampoon's Vacation Quotes

I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn't you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn't big enough.

Eddie

Audrey Griswold: Mom, where can I go to the bathroom?
Ellen Griswold: Find a bush Audrey!