Linus Caldwell: Um, all right, let's go over the list again. Ah, Swinging Priest?
Basher Tarr: Not enough people.
Linus Caldwell: Crazy Larry?
Turk Malloy: Not enough people.
Linus Caldwell: Soft shoulder?
Basher Tarr: Not enough people.
Linus Caldwell: Baker's dozen?
Basher Tarr: No woman ... and not enough people.

Linus Caldwell: So we do a Lookie-Loo... it's actually a Lookie-Loo with a Bundle of Joy!
Basher Tarr: A Lookie-Loo... with Tess... and a Bundle of Joy?
Linus Caldwell: Yeah!
Basher Tarr: You've gone right out of your tree, my son.

Basher Tarr: He's mad. It's madness.
Turk Malloy: Yeah, it's crazy. It's Italian television crazy, and, we're still one short.
Linus Caldwell: No no, but think about it. She can get near the egg, during daylight hours, with at least half the system down! Well that's a trifecta!
Basher Tarr: You might be right. Make the call.

Virgil Malloy: Look, yeah, I do I feel bad for the guy. He's a human being in a piece of luggage, but you got water, he's got air. What did you want them to do?
Turk Malloy: Oh my God, they should have gotten off the bus, get off the bus and pick up the bag with our friend in it.
Virgil Malloy: Get off the bus? They were trying to be inconspicuous. How many soccer teams do you know that are fielding 50 year-old men?
Danny Ocean: Rusty's not 50 years old.
Turk Malloy: Yeah, dude, we know Rusty's not 50.

Turk Malloy: It's ridiculous, I mean this is a moral issue we're dealing with here. Not to mention we don't have a grease man anymore, because he's in a bag somewhere. We don't know.
Virgil Malloy: We got a bag man.
Turk Malloy: Such an ape, an animal, with no feelings you are.
Virgil Malloy: I have feelings.
Turk Malloy: No, you don't.

Reuben Tishkoff: Frank, come on let me in.
Turk Malloy: How do you think it feels when you're sitting down on the toilet and someone's banging on the door?
Reuben Tishkoff: Well, I gotta sit down on the toilet or else I'm gonna shit on your feet.

Danny Ocean: Do I look 50 to you?
Basher Tarr: Yeah.
Danny Ocean: Really?
Basher Tarr: Well, I mean, you know, only from the neck up.

Tess Ocean: This is just wrong.
Linus Caldwell: You mean like... morally?
Tess Ocean: Well... yeah I guess.

Terry Benedict: The last time we talked, you hung up on me.
Rusty Ryan: You used nasty words.

Linus Caldwell: [trying to convince everyone that Danny was actually the leader of "The Benedict Job"] Well, if any of you had a problem, who did you go to?
Basher, Turk, Virgil, Reuben, Livingston, Yen, Frank: [simultaneously] Rusty.
Danny Ocean: Thanks, Linus.

If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Halloween would fall on the same date.

Danny Ocean

Molly Star: I hope Danny And Rusty appreciate the fine job you did - in a tight jam? I'm really proud of you.
Linus Caldwell: Thanks.
Molly Star: We both are.

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Ocean's Twelve Quotes

Rusty Ryan: Look, it's not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why.
Linus Caldwell: [sarcastically] Ooooooooooh.

[watching "Happy Days" in Italian] That guy doing Potsie is unbelievable.

Danny Ocean