[watching "Happy Days" in Italian] That guy doing Potsie is unbelievable.

Danny Ocean

Rusty Ryan: Look, it's not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why.
Linus Caldwell: [sarcastically] Ooooooooooh.

I want the last check I write to bounce.

Saul Bloom

Turk Malloy: Hell in a hand-basket?
Linus Caldwell: No, we... can't train a cat that quickly. And...
Turk Malloy, Linus Caldwell, Basher Tarr: [together] Not enough people!

[after Linus complains] Are you hosting a telethon we don't know about?

Reuben Tishkoff

Linus Caldwell: What did I say?
Danny Ocean: You called his niece a whore.
Rusty Ryan: A very cheap one.
Danny Ocean: She's seven.

There's water in the basement, and the pilot light is out.

Tess Ocean

Danny Ocean: How old do you think I am?
Virgil Malloy: 48?
Danny Ocean: You think I'm 48 years old?
Virgil Malloy: 52?

If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Halloween would fall on the same date.

Danny Ocean

Virgil Malloy: Look, yeah, I do I feel bad for the guy. He's a human being in a piece of luggage, but you got water, he's got air. What did you want them to do?
Turk Malloy: Oh my God, they should have gotten off the bus, get off the bus and pick up the bag with our friend in it.
Virgil Malloy: Get off the bus? They were trying to be inconspicuous. How many soccer teams do you know that are fielding 50 year-old men?
Danny Ocean: Rusty's not 50 years old.
Turk Malloy: Yeah, dude, we know Rusty's not 50.

Tess Ocean: You're doing recon work on our anniversary?
Danny Ocean: Tess...

Nothing is worth nothing.

Terry Benedict

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Ocean's Twelve Quotes

Rusty Ryan: Look, it's not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why.
Linus Caldwell: [sarcastically] Ooooooooooh.

[watching "Happy Days" in Italian] That guy doing Potsie is unbelievable.

Danny Ocean