Favorite Office Space Quotes
Samir: You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in glorious mutual funds and take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities and-
Michael Bolton: Samir, you're missing the point. The point is you're supposed to work out what you
[printer starts beeping]
Michael Bolton: "PC Load Letter" !? What the fuck does that mean?
Peter Gibbons: Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.
Samir: Of course.
Michael Bolton: Agreed.
Lawrence: [through the wall] Don't worry man. I won't tell anyone either!
Michael Bolton: Who the fuck is that?
Peter Gibbons: Oh, don't worry about him. He's cool.
Michael Bolton: You haven't even been showing up for work, and you got to keep your job.
Peter Gibbons: Actually I'm being promoted.
[drunk, rapping] Back up in your ass with the resurrection!Samir
Lawrence: Doesn't that chick look like Anne?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, a little bit...
Lawrence: Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while. You two still goin' out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I guess... I don't know. Sometimes I get this feeling like she's cheating on me.
Lawrence: Yeah, I get that feeling too, man.
Peter Gibbons: What do you mean by that?
Lawrence: I don't know, man. I just get that feeling lookin' at her like she's the type of chick that just... buhhh.
Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still have not received my paycheck and they moved my desk to storage room B and there was... garbage on it.Milton Waddams
[pounding steering wheel] Mother... shitter... Son of an... ass. I just...Samir
Peter Gibbons: So you guys are gonna fire Mike and Samir, and you're gonna give *me* more money?
Bob Porter: [nods] Uh-huh.
Peter Gibbons: Wow.
Dom Portwood: So um, Milton has been let go?
Bob Slydell: Well just a second there, professor. We uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it will just work itself out naturally.
Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem solved from your end.
Peter Gibbons: Lawrence, you awake?
Peter Gibbons: You wanna come over?
Lawrence: No, thanks, man. Don't want you fucking up my life, too.
Michael Bolton: No, no. If we get caught, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.
Samir: I don't want to go to ANY prison!
[at board meeting] I'd like to move us right to Peter Gibbons. We had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.Bob Slydell