Popular Office Space Quotes
[shouting through the wall] Hey Peter, man, check out Channel 9, it's the breast exam! Woo!Lawrence
Peter Gibbons: You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Slydell: Don't... don't care?
Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime. So where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Porter: Eight?
Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
Good evening Sir, my name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack but now I am off it and trying to stay clean. That is why I am selling magazine subscriptions-Steve
I told those fudge packers that I liked Michael Bolton's music.Michael Bolton
Mmm, yeah, I'm going to have to go ahead and ask you to come in on Sunday, too. We've got some new people coming in and we... need to play catch-up. Thanks!Bill Lumbergh
Michael Bolton: I don't know what happened, I must have missed a decimal point or something...
Peter Gibbons: Well, corporate accounts is sure as hell gonna notice $305,326.13 Michael!
[as Peter leaves to confess to Lumbergh] Peter... watch out for your cornhole, man.Lawrence
Rob Newhouse: Conjugal visits? Mmmm. Not that I know of. Y'know, minimum-security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right... Why do you ask, anyway?
Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well, does anyone ever say to you, 'Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays'?
Lawrence: [pauses] No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.
Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been "missing" it, Bob.
[on the phone] And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...Milton
Peter Gibbons: You're gonna lay off Samir and Michael?
Bob Slydell: Oh yeah, we're bring in some entry-level graduates, farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usual deal.
Bob Porter: Standard operating procedure.
Peter Gibbons: Do they know this yet?
Bob Slydell: No. No, of course not. We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.